*sigh*

I have been watching Pride & Prejudice (abbreviated P&P for the remainder of the post) over and over.  Like, seriously over and over.  It started the other night when I realized I had no internet until further notice (which has now been semi-resolved...more on that later).

I watched the 2005 P&P on Tuesday night when I was trying to wind down and get to sleep.  I absolutely love P&P, and every time I feel all ooey-gooey after watching it.  I don't know what it is about Mr. Darcy, but I just can't help watching time after time!  I didn't think much of it, because I tend to watch it on occasion.

However, just two days later, I watched it again!  I don't know why.  I think it might have been laziness, honestly, because I didn't want to go dig through all my movies to find something to watch.  Every time I watch P&P, I see new little details and see more subtle nuances in the film.  I think I've finally started to see most (I'd say all, but then if I find a new one I'd be mad that I said all!) of the subtle nuances and little details between Elizabeth and Darcy, but Thursday I caught a new one from Mr. Bennett.  I can't remember which scene, but it's at a point in the movie when Lydia comes to Mrs. Bennett and says, "Mamma, you'll never believe what I'm going to tell you!" or something of the sort.  Before Mrs. Bennett responds, almost under his breath/behind the scene, Mr. Bennett says, "She's going to take the veil."  I could not help but laugh at that!  It's so funny, and totally opposite of Lydia's character.  Of course, I'm sure you knew that.  At least those of you that are familiar with P&P knew that.  The 2005 version just has all these little humorous details that make me want to watch it repetitively.

So, then the next day I decided I'd change it up a bit and watch the long (5 hours and 23 minutes!) version of P&P from 1995.  Yep, the one with Colin Firth!  It's so different from the 2005 version.  I used to think I preferred Matthew Macfadyen as Darcy.  Oh, no!  I do not think that anymore!  I think I was used the Macfadyen's portrayal, but Firth "does the job credibly".  HA.  I think the 1995 version shows Darcy's feelings for Lizzie more clearly. 

Here's the ridiculous part: I went to Barnes & Noble today with my mom and my sister.  I wasn't looking for anything, I just went along for the enjoyment of the bookstore.  I love them.  Anyways, I was browsing through the "Fiction & Literature" section, and I kept finding books relating to P&P.  "Mr. Darcy" this, and "Jane Austen" that.  Really?  Do people actually read those?  It's fanfiction!  I hate fanfiction.  It ruins stories.  Ugh.  Anyways, I seriously have P&P on the mind this week.  It's my own doing, but it's true.  Even listening to a CD on the way home I told my sister that it was a song that Darcy could've sung to Lizzie.  *sigh*  It's a problem, I think.

Do you ever have this "problem", where you're constantly thinking of a book or a movie?

Amazing Vacation

I am planning a very long, very detailed post about my FABULOUS vacation to Florida (re: Disney World and Wizarding World of Harry Potter).  It's coming.  I promise.

"The Adult Vortex"

So, where do adults go to meet other adults?  What I mean is, if I want to diversify my group of friends, where do I find people who I'd actually want to be friends with?  I currently work at a school where the majority of the staff is much older than I am.  There are maybe 2 other staff members under the age of 35.  I am not currently involved in a small group/young adults group at church, because the churches I've been attending over the last two years have not had these sorts of groups.  For the summer I'm working with more people my age-ish, but there are still quite a few that are a good chunk younger than I am, and only one or two that are about my age.  So...where do I meet people?

My mom calls this the "adult vortex".  m-w.com says:
"Definition of VORTEX

1

: something that resembles a whirlpool vortex of battle — Time>

2

a : a mass of fluid (as a liquid) with a whirling or circular motion that tends to form a cavity or vacuum in the center of the circle and to draw toward this cavity or vacuum bodies subject to its action; especially : whirlpool, eddy b : a region within a body of fluid in which the fluid elements have an angular velocity"

 

I'm not sure if that definition actually relates, but that's ok.  I think her point is that I am not alone in this issue.  So, anyone out there have any suggestions?  I hate being so far away from my good friends in California and having so few friends here in Oregon.  I feel like my social life is lacking, and I am not motivated to get out and do things like I might be in California.

It's Over

My little babies graduated.  Preschool graduation was on Wednesday.  It's weird, but as relieved as I am, I'm also sad.  I'm going to miss it.  Of course, I jump into practically the same thing on this upcoming Wednesday-at the YMCA.  I'll still see most of my kiddos in the fall, too, because they're all going to be in music with me!  =)

BTW, for anyone out there who went to EDHS with me, one of my students' parents is close friends with Miss Petitt.  She and this parent went to high school together and then this parent moved to Oregon, got married, and had kids.  Small world, right?

Welcome to June...

So, it's June now.  How did that happen? 

Anyways, I was filling out my lesson plans for the next week and a half (yes, literally, that's ALL that I have left with Preschool!).  It's like...I don't have any time with them left.  Even though the last 2 days have been extremely difficult (kids not listening to instructions, yelling, screaming, crying for no apparent reason...), it's going to be sad at the end of the year.  At least most of them will still be my students next year!  I'll just be their music teacher instead!  =)

Speaking of that...the information about teacher changes went out in the school newsletter this week.  That means people are aware that I'll be teaching music and health next year, which means people will be coming and talking to me about it-ALL THE TIME.  I'm ok with that, I suppose, but I'm just not exactly sure how I feel about it.  Are they excited?  Are they unhappy?  Are they unsure?  I'm kind of excited, unsure, and nervous.  So, if I feel that way, wouldn't they be feeling that way, too?

Ugh.  I guess what I'm nervous about is that now that all of this has gone public, are people going to feel free to talk openly about how "awful" music was this year?  Or how they didn't think the concert was very good?  I mean, the current music teacher will still be around until June 15.  I sure hope that means that people will keep their mouths shut about it until then. 

I guess what I'm MOST nervous about, if I allow myself to really consider it, is the current music teacher's reaction.  Is she going to be upset with me, even though I didn't have anything to do with her not being there next year?  Sure, I'll be teaching what she's currently teaching, but I didn't take it from her.  It was given to me once they decided she wouldn't be there next year.  So...I guess I'm afraid she'll take her emotions out on me.  Let's hope she doesn't.

Um...yup.  That's it for now.  I have other things that I want to share, but I guess I should wait until I really have something to share, not just a kind of something.

Today's walk

So, this evening I was feeling a little down on myself and frustrated.  Then I thought, "Hmm...I haven't exercised in a while.  Maybe I should walk around the block."  So, five minutes later, I had donned my tennis shoes, grabbed my ipod, and got my coat out of the car.  Initially, I just set out to walk around the block.  Then, all of a sudden I had this rush of high expectations for myself and decided I wanted to walk around the block 4 times.  I've done twice before, but I figured since I hadn't walked, or really exercised at all, lately that I should give it a go.

Well, reality set in on the second lap when it started getting dark.  I came to the realization that I didn't really NEED to go around the block four times.  I decided, I'll just walk around the block as many times as I can before dark.  Then the raindrops started.  I LOVE walking in the rain, but the fact that it was raining was a little disconcerting, especially since I had looked at the weather report earlier on weather.com and they said that there was a thunderstorm that had gone through Portland and could shift over Oregon City.  With said thunderstorm, there were reports of penny-sized hail.  I wasn't so sure that I wanted to walk around the block in the hail.  So, then I decided I'd go until it was too dark to see, or it started hailing.

Surprisingly, there was no hail!  I was glad, but my glasses started fogging up on my third trip around the block. Ugh.  I could've possibly gone around a fourth time, but when the glasses fog up, it gets a little hard to see.  Not to mention that the raindrops were starting to gather on my glasses as well.

Anyways, I went around 3 times.  Not too bad.  Especially when I checked the distance on google maps and see that one time around the block is 0.8 miles.  That means I walked about 2.4 miles this evening!  I think I'll make it a goal to walk around the block at least once a day.  The more laps I put in, the better, but no pressure to do a certain number.

In addition to my walking, I think I found a new way to push myself to keep up the pace.  While I was walking, I was listening to my playlist that I so eloquently named "Yup".  It's just a mishmosh of songs I like.  No genre, no specific reason or common thread, other than the fact that I like them.  So, as I started my walk, I was just ambling on at a leisurely pace.  Of course, that changed as soon as the song "Groove is in the Heart" by Deee Lite came on.  That's the song we performed our Drum Major routines to for the USA All-Star trip to London my Junior Year of High School.  Anyways, I really like that song, just because it has a good beat and makes me want to dance-which I couldn't help doing as I was walking.  I'm sure I looked like a complete fool to any casual observer.  Ha.  I don't know that I care. 

As I was dance-walking, I noticed that I was walking in step with the song.  So, I forced myself to continue doing that until the song was over.  The next song that came on was "Everybody Dance Now" by C & C Music Factory.  Again, it had a nice beat, so I kept walking in step with it.  Soon, I had walked or jogged in step to multiple songs, and had kept up a decent pace as I walked.  I skipped songs that were too slow and songs that were way too fast to walk in step to.  It was fun-almost a game.  I think if I were to continue doing this, I wouldn't mind walking so much.  We'll see if it keeps walking fun.

I'm planning to put together a special playlist for my walks, so that I have songs that have relatively quick tempos in it to push me a bit faster on my walks.  I suppose it's always an option to skip the walking in step part, but I enjoyed it tonight, and I actually found I did it on instinct.  =)

If you want to contribute song ideas, I'd be totally open to it!  Just post them in the comments.  That is...if anyone is actually reading.

Makeup

I am 24 years old.  I just started wearing makeup on any sort of consistent basis a little over a year ago.  I didn't care about it in Jr. High, and in High School I only really wore makeup for dances or other special sorts of occasions.  Let's be honest-I didn't care a whole lot about my appearance in general at that point.  I was in Marching Band, and during competitions makeup wasn't allowed.  I probably used that as an excuse to a certain extent, even with myself, because it would mess up my "routine" to do makeup some days but not others.  I didn't have any kind of routine, so I can honestly say that was a bunch of bull shit.

However, I vividly remember girls complaining in Marching Band about how "ugly" they looked for competitions, or on trips for church (Mexicali, Quaker Meadow, Mammoth) when girls would complain about people seeing them before they had "beautified" themselves.  At that point, I thought they were ridiculous.  I thought they were vain, and to a certain extent they probably were, but I kind of get it now.

Tonight, for the first time, I looked closely at my face before I cleaned off the makeup.  Again, after I removed the makeup, I looked closely again.  It is starting to make more sense to me why these girls felt that way.  I am so used to seeing my "made-up" face, that it's hard for me to like looking at my plain, albeit God-given, face.

I wear makeup to make myself look and feel more professional, because as a 24-year-old teacher, I'm still young.  The kids are aware that I'm young (well, maybe not the Preschoolers, but the 6th graders do!).  They ask me questions about pop culture and expect me to know what they're talking about and react positively.  They expect my age to mean I'm hip.  Is that even a word anymore?  Whatever.  I use makeup as a differentiating tool.  I am not their peer.  They need to know that, and I need to know that.  For me, makeup is about making myself presentable as an adult teacher.

Yes, of course, it has become a habit.  I do wear makeup on the weekends, too.  I'm not saying that there isn't even a hint of vanity in my reasons for wearing makeup.  That's there, too.  But primarily, I wear makeup because I was told to do so in one of my classes.  A professor (or visiting speaker?) told the girls in my class that wearing makeup (and doing it properly) would help set us apart from our students.  Sure, she probably meant High Schoolers.  I still think it's valuable.

Anyways, what do you guys think?  Is make up pointless?  Is it totally worthwhile?  Do you use it?  What are your reasons for using it, or not using it?  Do you feel different when you wear it?  Do you feel different about yourself when you wear it?  Or when you take it off?

Just some thoughts.  And, to finish it off...

Girls, you are beautiful the way God made you.  You don't need makeup.  Wear it only if you choose to for your own reasons, not because our society tells you it's important-it's not!  You are!  =)