On Sunday, I presented my first sermon. I'm not sure whether there will be another. It's not that I'm opposed to it, but it's not particularly my favorite thing. Public speaking isn't something I totally enjoy. However, that being said...I feel compelled to share the words I spoke. Eventually there will be a podcast. In the mean time, here are the notes I spoke from. I know I said things a little differently in a few places, but this is what I typed up beforehand.
When I was 3 years old, my grandpa asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him I wanted to be “a teacher, a wife, and a mommy”. This is something my dad liked to remind me of often. It seems like I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher.
As I got older, while I still wanted to be a teacher my focus shifted a bit. In high school I wanted to be a high school band director. My senior year that briefly shifted to working at a small school where I could teach band, choir, and Spanish, but then shifted right back to just a band director. In college I realized I didn’t want to be a band director. In fact, I didn’t want to teach music at all. I decided I wanted to teach elementary.
For the last 7 years, I was a teacher. I have taught Preschoolers up to 8th graders; I’ve taught Health, Spanish, and Music; I’ve done one-on-one and small group pull outs for Math and Reading; I’ve taught self-contained classes of 1st and 2nd graders and 5th graders. My journey to becoming a teacher was challenging, beginning in grad school and student teaching. I pushed through the hard things, because I knew I wanted to teach. I’d know since I was 3 years old! Every school I’ve worked in has gone through major changes or difficult situations while I taught there. I assume much of that is “normal”. Life happens everywhere.
For years, I assumed I just needed to get more experience under my belt. Things would get easier. I actually found, though, that things got harder. The longer I taught, the more anxious I became. While I’m a generally anxious person, this was well above my typical level of anxiety.
Despite the fact that teaching had been incredibly difficult and uncomfortable for me, it was still my comfort zone. I knew the buzz words, I had strategies in my back pocket, I had resources at my disposal. For me, this is what feels safe. When I know that I have things to fall back on, I feel less anxious and more in control.
This last year was a turning point for me in a variety of ways. I learned a lot about myself. I turned more inward and analyzed the things I was feeling and doing. I realized I wasn’t living into God’s will for my life. I was living into MY will for my life. I had decided that I wanted to be a teacher 28 years ago, and I stuck to it. I stopped discerning God’s call on my life. I “knew” what my purpose was - except I had put this wall up that stopped me from being aware that it wasn’t my true purpose.
Something that’s come up a few times for me over the last year or so, but with more frequency over the last few months is the concept of thriving. We have to be open to thriving. We have to get out of our comfort zone and allow God to help us thrive.
Merriam-Webster lists 3 definitions for the word thrive:
- To grow vigourously; flourish
- To gain in wealth or posessions; prosper
- To progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances
I’ll admit that I usually think of the first 2 definitions. When a plant thrives, it grows well. When a person thrives, they’re doing well by society’s standards - money or status. That third definition, though, feels closest to what I think thriving in God’s will looks like. When I live into God’s will and step out in faith, I move toward a goal or achievement despite all the hard things going on.
For me, my comfort zone is that wall I put up. I often like to go just to the edge of my comfort zone and say, “Wow! Look how far I’ve come!” But usually, I’m still in my comfort zone, safe and sound.
Many of you know I went to Bolivia in 2016 with the YCEW team. YCEW is an acronym: Y-C-E-W and stands for “Youth Challenging and Expanding their Worldview”. I was honored to be a part of the first intergenerational YCEW team. In our orientation the day or so before we left the United States, Rachelle Staley led our team in an exercise that has stuck with me. It was intended as a team-building experience to help us get to know each other better before spending weeks together in a different country. She laid out two ropes in large, concentric circles like this.
This inner circle represented our “comfort zone” - things that were natural and comfortable to us, or that we might do under typical circumstances. The space between the two ropes represented an area where we would be “stretched” - things that would be challenging for us, but would not overwhelm us. Outside both circles represented our “panic zone” - anything that was overwhelming or too scary. She gave us a variety of scenarios from life at home, from previous YCEW trips, and from things she expected us to encounter in Bolivia. For each scenario, she asked us to move to the spot in the circles that matched how we would feel.
Prior to going on the trip to Bolivia, I felt my Spanish was mediocre. I would have said that serving as the sole translator for our team would have pushed me into the edge between stretching and the panic zone. I thought it would be great to use my Spanish, but I would NEVER have volunteered to be the translator. God knew better. When we arrived in Bolivia, our hosts had not found a translator for us as planned. I ended up translating for 12 days. It was exhausting, but it was beautiful. I was anxious the whole trip, but I would have been anyway! I came home feeling much stronger in my Spanish speaking, and I now use my Spanish every day at work. I still fumble on my words, but because of my experience translating in Bolivia, I know that even when I mess up, I can find a way to communicate.
Our comfort zone can be dangerous. Complacency and apathy can take over. Auto-pilot has never worked well for me.
A passage of Scripture that I think goes along with getting out of our comfort zone is in Matthew chapter 14, starting in verse 22 - I’ll be reading from the Message.
Matthew 14:22-33 ' As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”He said, “Come ahead.”Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, “This is it! You are God’s Son for sure!” '
Peter asked Jesus to call him out onto the water. He wanted to be stretched. He could have stayed where he was comfortable on the boat. As a fisherman, he would have been VERY comfortable on a boat; but Peter asked to be stretched. While he became afraid, doubted, and ultimately sank down into the water, Peter should be an example for us.
Humans don’t like to be uncomfortable. We avoid difficult experiences. Some of us don’t like to learn new things, because that disequilibrium causes too much discomfort. But when we allow ourselves to embrace the disequilibrium, we find ourselves learning and growing. We become moldable.
A few years ago, I was a counselor at Surfside, the high school camp at Twin Rocks Friends Camp. The speakers, Thomas and Doreen Magee, used the analogy of a blacksmith forging metal into shape to represent our faith. They explained that the temperature of the metal corresponds to its color. When heated, the metal can range from red to orange to yellow to white. When metal is too cold, it can break when the blacksmith tries to hammer it into shape. When the metal gets too hot, it can melt apart. But when the metal is just between that orange and yellow color, it is perfectly moldable. When we allow ourselves to become the right kind of uncomfortable - stepping out of our comfort zone into that stretching zone - we are moldable. This is when God can help us to thrive.
I’m a note-taker. I like to write things down. I like to use letters, numbers, and words to make sense of things. They’re not always in useful or profound ways, but I’d like to use the word thrive as an acronym. I’ve found this acronym to serve as a set of steps to helping myself lean into God and out of my comfort zone.
T is for “Trust God”. The first step to thriving is knowing that God has me. He has never failed me, even when I’ve failed myself and led myself away from him. He has my best interest in mind. He wants me to thrive, to learn, and to grow.
H is for “Hear God”. While some people might literally hear God’s voice, I don’t. I use the word “hear” metaphorically. Sometimes I discern God’s “voice” through prayer, Scripture, conversations with others, silence, nature, etc. You may experience it differently. If you don’t already know ways that you recognize God speaking to you, I’d encourage you to try different strategies until you find it. Actively seek out God, and you’re likely to hear, feel, or sense what he wants of you.
R is for “Respond”. Respond to what you hear from God. Act on the leading. This will depend on whatever you think God is asking or telling you to do.
I is for “Invite”. Bring others into your leading. This can be done in a variety of ways. Ask a group of friends to serve as a clearness committee for you to help you test this leading. Create community around the leading by having others join you in doing things that support your leading. Share it with others. God’s leadings are VERY rarely just for us. Find a way to include others.
V is for “Venture”. Step out in faith. Live into your leading. Explore what this leading means for you and for others. I’ll admit this one was the hardest for me. I don’t really like the word venture, but it fits here.
E is for “Evaluate”. Circle back and determine how things are going. Ask yourself what went well. Ask yourself what didn’t go well. Ask yourself how you muddled God’s message or how you may have gotten in the way. Ask yourself how you can change the behaviors that are impeding God’s will, and then go back and change them.
Trust God
Hear God
Respond
Invite
Venture
Evaluate
This has been extremely helpful for me. I try to use this when I find myself getting out of my comfort zone. Whether it actually helps me to thrive or not is up to God. Honestly, I think the primary thing for thriving is the willingness and openness to it. Allow God to help you thrive.
These aren’t steps that have to go in order, and they’re not really a cycle. But I find them to be helpful as a “package deal”. You can’t skip any of them, because they are all important in a variety of ways. Your actions need to match your words. I find that actively working toward thriving instead of passively hoping that thriving will occur is vital. Don’t let thriving just be aspirational.
As I’ve been working on this in my own life, the song “Oceans” kept coming to mind. It’s a song we’ve sung often here at SFC. As the words and melody play through my mind, I ask myself, “When I sing this, do I mean it?”
“You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail...Your grace abounds in deepest waters...where feet may fail and fear surrounds me. You’ve never failed and you won’t start now. Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander…”
Some queries for us to consider:
-How am I stuck in my comfort zone? What keeps me there?
-Do I actively (or passively) avoid the disequilibrium of stretching situations? What can I do differently to seek out that disequilibrium or embrace it when it catches me off guard?
-Am I letting my fears stop me from growing? Am I too worried about the “panic zone” to leave my comfort zone?
-How can I trust God to call me onto the waters and allow him to help me thrive as I walk onto the path he calls me down?
