Saturday, March 16, 2013

Tryon Creek State Park

I spent the night at Mom's last night, and Mom and I woke up around 7 and planned to head out and hike to Warrior Rock Lighthouse on Sauvie Island. We drove all the way out to Sauvie Island, and were about to walk in to buy our permit to go out there, when we saw a sign that said the trail we were going to hike was closed! We were a little bummed out, but we regrouped and decided to find somewhere else to hike.

We ended up going to Tryon Creek State Park, which is a beautiful park in the middle of the city of Portland. Well, according to their brochure/map, they are in between Portland and Lake Oswego. I had absolutely no idea it existed! It's right next to Lewis and Clark College, and there are various trails you can take for hiking, biking, or horseback riding. Some trails are more difficult than others, as we found. We tried the Lewis and Clark trail, which was fairly hilly and had a bridge that was pretty rickety that you had to cross. We turned around at that bridge and tried a different trail, which happened to be very flat.

All around, it was a fun trip! I'd love to go back sometime and try another trail or set of trails! :) Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures. :( Next time!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Waiting

You know what phrase I've really come to realize is true?

"Good things come to those who wait."

Now, I've seen multiple posts on pinterest, facebook, etc. where people say that it's not true. Good things don't just come to people who are patiently waiting for them. You have to go out there and get them!

Well, I really don't think that's the case, and here's why. Sometimes, God's answer to our prayers is, "Wait". Sometimes, we have to wait in order to get what we want. Even better-sometimes we have to wait in order to get wherever it is that God wants us to be. His plan is always better than ours.

More than just waiting, we have to listen. God often whispers His plan into our ears, but it's so quiet that we miss it unless we're listening intently, waiting to hear His voice through all the commotion in our world.

Lately, I've been rushing ahead, trying to make things happen for myself. Guess how far I've gotten? Nowhere. I've gotten nowhere, AND FAST! The purposes I thought I was serving by trying to make things happen were shot down, and gone.

I don't know why it's taken me so long to get to this point of realizing that I need to wait on God's will for my life. I mean, really-I've come to this realization before. I'm sure I'll come to it again. In fact, I HOPE I come to it again. This adventure called life-more specifically Christian Life-is about surrendering yourself over and over to God. I hope that I continue to recognize my need for God, and my need to wait on His will.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Faking it.

So, there are a few areas in my life that I have been told that I "fake it well". Let me give you some details.

1. I work at a Catholic school, and I am not Catholic. I did everything in my power to blend in last year, and early on I was told by a co-worker that I "fake" being a Catholic so well that if she hadn't already known I was a Protestant, she wouldn't have a clue that I wasn't Catholic.

2. Yesterday, I was working at a teacher in-service training for the Archdiocese in a group of Music teachers. I felt so out of place, because my teacher training is not in Music, but rather self-contained Elementary. While talking to a co-worker on the phone about it after the in-service, I mentioned that I am making everything up as I go. I was told that I "fake it well".

Well, is that what I want my life to be? A series of faking my way through various activities? Is that actually how I should be doing things?

Now, I realize that my "faking it" isn't all faking. I do have a musical background, and while I don't have a degree in Music Education, I was a Music Ed major for the first 2 years of college. In those years, I completed all 4 semesters of theory, all 4 semesters of sight singing/aural skills, and I took 2 music education classes. I also continued to perform in multiple music ensembles even after changing my major, AND I took a class for my new major that was geared toward non-music teachers and how to teach music. So, am I truly faking it all? No, but it sure feels that way sometimes!

I guess the hard part for me is that I like to just be me. I want to be myself in everything that I do, and while I feel I often do a good job at being myself, even when I feel pressured to be someone else, I sometimes fall a little short in some areas. I regularly do the sign of the cross and pray prayers at school that I would not pray at home or in other circles. I sometimes feel very uncomfortable with that. I don't see Mary as any form of deity, or even as being someone to pray to. I don't believe in the concept of praying to saints. It's extremely Protestant of me, but shoot! I am a Protestant! When we pray a "Hail Mary" at work, I feel so out of place-like a fish out of water. I am a Protestant, stuck in a Catholic bubble. I don't entirely disagree with it, and there are many times that I enjoy it. But what about the times I feel out of place? I can't shake the feeling that I don't quite belong. I try to convince myself that if I was in a self-contained classroom, that sense of "not-belonging" would go away, but I don't think it will. I think the sense of "not-belonging" I have when I teach music would go away, because I'd be teaching what I am more comfortable with. But what about the religious aspects? I don't agree with them 100%. In fact, it's probably much, much less that 100%! I don't even agree with my closest friends and family members 100% in the faith areas...and they're all Protestant!

I really love the community where I work. The kids are great, the families are great, it's wonderful to be connected in a community that has faith (even if it is a little different than my own), and the staff (usually) is fabulous.

But is it really worth it if I have to fake it?