This is the time of year when we all try to become a better version of ourselves going into the new year. So often, I've "resolved" to lose weight, to save money, to stop eating certain foods, to start eating certain foods, to stop doing certain things, to start doing certain things. I'm making a broader resolution this year. I'm trying to keep it simple for myself, and in doing so, I hope to be able to achieve it.
My resolution for 2013 is to be more active.
As simple as that. I want to be more active in many areas in my life-physically, socially, spiritually, etc. I need to get out and do more in my community, whether it's exploring or volunteering. I need to get out and do more physical activity. I need to meet more people, spend more time with friends and family, and stop being such a homebody. I need to stop letting things pile up, and take care of them sooner!
This means that I want to be a better blogger, too. I want to do cooler things (or just things in general) that I can share with you. I haven't been blogging all the time, and often I blog on a whim. I want to be a more active blogger.
We'll see how it goes. The fact that it's broad means that all I have to do is be more active than I am now, and let's face it-it won't be hard to be more active than I've been this past year.
So, as we go into this new year, I'm going to take suggestions from you (if you want to share them) of ways I can be more active. Any type of active counts.
Also, because I'm including spiritual activity, I would like to pray for you. Are there any areas of your life that you'd like prayer for? Specifically, any ongoing things that you're struggling with? I'd love to pray for you.
I wish you the best with your resolutions, and I'll try to keep you updated on mine!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
California me vs. Oregon me
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a different person when I'm visiting in California. I definitely act a little different.
When I'm in Oregon, I'm less social. Much of this is not by choice, but rather simply because I have fewer people to socialize with. I also am calmer, more of a homebody, and eat healthier. I also don't post on Facebook as much.
When I'm in California, I'm out and about almost constantly. I am hanging out with friends all the time, doing things, going places, etc. I eat out a lot because I don't have a home to cook in (I think!). I am not nearly as calm. This calmness is replaced by excitement, anxiety, stress (traffic stress, mostly), and restlessness.
I like myself differently in both places. First of all, I love spending time with my friends in California. I feel most like myself when I'm with them. But when I'm away from them (still in California), I don't like myself. I annoy myself with the silly things I worry about or choose to do. I feel less healthy in California, as well. Some of that is the smog, I think. But I also don't eat well. I have a lack of self control in California that I don't seem to have in Oregon. Do I have a switch that's a vacation switch? Like I can do whatever I want because I'm on vacation? Or is it definitely a California thing?
Just some thoughts milling about in my head. There's a lot more that I could put in here, but I am feeling like I need to be done for now. Maybe I'll add more later.
When I'm in Oregon, I'm less social. Much of this is not by choice, but rather simply because I have fewer people to socialize with. I also am calmer, more of a homebody, and eat healthier. I also don't post on Facebook as much.
When I'm in California, I'm out and about almost constantly. I am hanging out with friends all the time, doing things, going places, etc. I eat out a lot because I don't have a home to cook in (I think!). I am not nearly as calm. This calmness is replaced by excitement, anxiety, stress (traffic stress, mostly), and restlessness.
I like myself differently in both places. First of all, I love spending time with my friends in California. I feel most like myself when I'm with them. But when I'm away from them (still in California), I don't like myself. I annoy myself with the silly things I worry about or choose to do. I feel less healthy in California, as well. Some of that is the smog, I think. But I also don't eat well. I have a lack of self control in California that I don't seem to have in Oregon. Do I have a switch that's a vacation switch? Like I can do whatever I want because I'm on vacation? Or is it definitely a California thing?
Just some thoughts milling about in my head. There's a lot more that I could put in here, but I am feeling like I need to be done for now. Maybe I'll add more later.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Christmas Concert and Thoughts
Tonight was our school Christmas concert. I was nervous earlier this week, and some of those nerves were normal/common for me, but some were actually justified. My accompanist did not quite play through things the way we discussed. She is a sweet lady, but she apparently doesn't have the chops to accompany students that aren't great at following a conductor...
Anyways, I don't want to go all negative here. The concert went well, despite the bits that weren't great. The kids did a GREAT job following, even when things got changed on them in the moment. So, many of the people that read this (ok, the 2 that regularly read it...) know how flowers are often given at the end of a performance. Well, they didn't give me flowers tonight. Instead, they gave me this giant stuffed giraffe with a purple scarf around its neck, a purple hair flower on its ear, and a silver snowflake ornament on its ear. TOO cute.
Anyways, I don't want to go all negative here. The concert went well, despite the bits that weren't great. The kids did a GREAT job following, even when things got changed on them in the moment. So, many of the people that read this (ok, the 2 that regularly read it...) know how flowers are often given at the end of a performance. Well, they didn't give me flowers tonight. Instead, they gave me this giant stuffed giraffe with a purple scarf around its neck, a purple hair flower on its ear, and a silver snowflake ornament on its ear. TOO cute.
So, random back story to help with an epiphany I had tonight. Back in high school during my senior year (my one year in choir in high school), our choir director did these interviews with each of the seniors that he called "Senior Spotlights". It was a fun way for us to tell our classmates what we were planning for college, what our goals were, etc. Well, the ONE question I remember my answer to other than which college I was attending (APU, woo!) was where I wanted to be in 10 years. My answer was: "Teaching at a private school, so I can teach Band, Choir, and Spanish all at the same time." Guess what? I've arrived!!! It hit me tonight that this spring, I will be doing exactly that! Sure, I only teach Preschool Spanish, but it's definitely still what I said I wanted to be doing.
I never really thought of myself as a goal oriented person to such an extreme that I'd make anything happen like this, but maybe I am? No, I'm thinking not. I tend to work toward smaller goals, not the big ones like this...
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
My FB status tonight...
I thought I should share this here, too.
"Being human can be hard. We are fallible, we are emotional wrecks, and we are broken. We need God to make it through this life. I needed this reminder tonight, and I thought someone else might need it as well. Love God, love others, love yourself. All are important, but the order is even more important."
"Being human can be hard. We are fallible, we are emotional wrecks, and we are broken. We need God to make it through this life. I needed this reminder tonight, and I thought someone else might need it as well. Love God, love others, love yourself. All are important, but the order is even more important."
Saturday, December 15, 2012
What a week!
I'm finding it extremely hard to process this week's events. Here's the details:
Tuesday afternoon, there was a shooting at the mall about 10 minutes from my apartment. 2 victims died, 1 was sent to the hospital in serious condition, and the shooter also killed himself.
This was hard for me, my students, my coworkers, and my entire school community. One of the victims of the shooting was a basketball coach, and one of my students was on his team. The coach was like a dad to this student. So intense. One of our teachers put together a prayer service for Wednesday morning.
Just 3 days later, the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut. This hit the staff pretty hard. We didn't tell the students yesterday; it's not our place to do so. We had a staff meeting to discuss how we were going to handle it, and multiple teachers were crying at one point or another during the meeting. We are having a prayer service on Monday morning for this as well, with all the teachers getting involved.
The hard part, in my opinion, is that there are 2 things that make Friday's events more intense for us. Number one, it happened so soon after the events at the mall. We hadn't had time to heal from that yet. Second, it happened at a school. We discussed at our meeting how school is almost like a second home to our students, and if they can't feel safe at school, where can they feel safe? This is our new challenge.
Prayers, friends. That's the key here. Our country, our world, the people in it need our prayers. Please pray for my school community, and all other school communities, to establish a sense of security and community within themselves. Pray for God's protection and guidance. Just pray.
Tuesday afternoon, there was a shooting at the mall about 10 minutes from my apartment. 2 victims died, 1 was sent to the hospital in serious condition, and the shooter also killed himself.
This was hard for me, my students, my coworkers, and my entire school community. One of the victims of the shooting was a basketball coach, and one of my students was on his team. The coach was like a dad to this student. So intense. One of our teachers put together a prayer service for Wednesday morning.
Just 3 days later, the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut. This hit the staff pretty hard. We didn't tell the students yesterday; it's not our place to do so. We had a staff meeting to discuss how we were going to handle it, and multiple teachers were crying at one point or another during the meeting. We are having a prayer service on Monday morning for this as well, with all the teachers getting involved.
The hard part, in my opinion, is that there are 2 things that make Friday's events more intense for us. Number one, it happened so soon after the events at the mall. We hadn't had time to heal from that yet. Second, it happened at a school. We discussed at our meeting how school is almost like a second home to our students, and if they can't feel safe at school, where can they feel safe? This is our new challenge.
Prayers, friends. That's the key here. Our country, our world, the people in it need our prayers. Please pray for my school community, and all other school communities, to establish a sense of security and community within themselves. Pray for God's protection and guidance. Just pray.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Poetry
So, I wrote this poem tonight. It's based on a few different things. First of all, it's based on my feelings - past, present, and probably future. It's that caught-in-between wanting someone to know how you feel and not wanting them to know how you feel all at once. Second, it's based on the awkwardness of Middle Schoolers, which I see daily. Third, I wanted to play around with some words. Thesaurus work, I like to call it. There are a few spots in the poem where I intentionally created redundancies for effect. I don't know if it reads the same as I felt it did as I wrote it or read through it. I may edit this, or I may just keep it as is. It took me about 15 minutes to write, which is so much quicker than ANY of my other poetry has ever been, so you never know if it's good or bad based on that...
Let me know what you think. That goes for simple reactions to the poem or editing thoughts. I'm open to any and all at this point.
Just one look,
That's all it takes:
I melt from the warmth
Radiating from your eyes.
I am sure my ears are
Scarlet or Crimson or Magenta.
I am a puddle on the floor.
Do you see me here?
Please don't see me here!
Take care or you'll slip,
Slide, skip, fall down -
Down here with me.
How can I catch just one
Glimpse, peek, quick look
without getting caught?
Get caught! What then?
Awkward shift...
Look away!
Peer around my book to see
You looking the other direction.
Did you see me?
Maybe you saw me!
*Sigh* You saw me!
I don't know. Now that I'm reading back through it, I think this would be MUCH better as a performance poem than as a written poem. It doesn't come across the same.
Let me know what you think. That goes for simple reactions to the poem or editing thoughts. I'm open to any and all at this point.
Just one look,
That's all it takes:
I melt from the warmth
Radiating from your eyes.
I am sure my ears are
Scarlet or Crimson or Magenta.
I am a puddle on the floor.
Do you see me here?
Please don't see me here!
Take care or you'll slip,
Slide, skip, fall down -
Down here with me.
How can I catch just one
Glimpse, peek, quick look
without getting caught?
Get caught! What then?
Awkward shift...
Look away!
Peer around my book to see
You looking the other direction.
Did you see me?
Maybe you saw me!
*Sigh* You saw me!
I don't know. Now that I'm reading back through it, I think this would be MUCH better as a performance poem than as a written poem. It doesn't come across the same.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Hesitation
Hesitation is not my friend. I get into a lot of "trouble" (not really trouble, but we'll call it trouble) when I hesitate. LOTS of hesitation lately. Let's get the hesitating over with and move on to something new.
K, thanks.
K, thanks.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
This morning's walk
So, this morning I went for another walk. It's becoming routine. That's beside the point, though.
It was sunny and slightly rainy, which meant there was a rainbow. It made me think about God's promise from Genesis 9. It also made me think about my trip to Armenia in 2007. When we went to Khor Virap (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khor_Virap), it rained a little bit. On our way back to the city, there was this gorgeous rainbow. What an incredible experience to be in Armenia, be able to see Mt. Ararat (where Noah's ark landed according to Genesis 8) AND have a rainbow appear. Can you imagine? It was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
Now, I've seen plenty of rainbows since 2007. More than I can count on my fingers. Today's rainbow, though, hit me a little differently than the others. I can't explain how or why, but today was a glorious moment where God and His grace felt more real than ever, as it did in Armenia. I'm sure my friend Christy also has good memories from that trip. I remember the day we saw the rainbow being a meaningful day for her.
I'm so thankful for God and His grace. What would I do without it? How could I live my life if I didn't know about His wonderful, loving grace? It amazes me to realize that there are people who don't know Him. How can they not see Him in everything around them? It's so clear to me, and I thank God for these regular reminders. :)
It was sunny and slightly rainy, which meant there was a rainbow. It made me think about God's promise from Genesis 9. It also made me think about my trip to Armenia in 2007. When we went to Khor Virap (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khor_Virap), it rained a little bit. On our way back to the city, there was this gorgeous rainbow. What an incredible experience to be in Armenia, be able to see Mt. Ararat (where Noah's ark landed according to Genesis 8) AND have a rainbow appear. Can you imagine? It was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
Now, I've seen plenty of rainbows since 2007. More than I can count on my fingers. Today's rainbow, though, hit me a little differently than the others. I can't explain how or why, but today was a glorious moment where God and His grace felt more real than ever, as it did in Armenia. I'm sure my friend Christy also has good memories from that trip. I remember the day we saw the rainbow being a meaningful day for her.
I'm so thankful for God and His grace. What would I do without it? How could I live my life if I didn't know about His wonderful, loving grace? It amazes me to realize that there are people who don't know Him. How can they not see Him in everything around them? It's so clear to me, and I thank God for these regular reminders. :)
Thursday, November 29, 2012
The Grotto Festival of Lights
So, there's a Catholic church in Portland called "The Grotto". Every year, they host a "Festival of Lights", and along with the lights that they decorate with, they also host a nightly performance set. For the last few years, my school has been going to this Festival.
Being the music teacher, I planned out a concert and set up a performance time for my middle schoolers there. We performed on Sunday (Nov. 25). In the last few weeks, I was getting increasingly more anxious about this performance. I was worried that the kids would be as disrespectful and rude at the Grotto as they tend to be in class and rehearsal. I was pleasantly surprised by their performance, however. There were DEFINITELY areas in which we could improve, but some of that is due to my newness as a music teacher. Some of that is due to the age of the students AND their prior knowledge of music.
Anyways, I would HIGHLY recommend going to this event if you are in the Portland area. It's a beautiful set of lights to look at, they have a long list of groups that are performing, and it's just incredible. Plus, it's Christmas. We all tend to head to church around this time of year (even those who don't go regularly).
I will tell you, it does cost some money to get in. It's $9 for adults, and there's a discounted ticket for both seniors and children. I have some discount tickets left from our performance ($1 off), and anyone who wants them can have them.
For those of you who aren't in the Portland area, plan a trip to Portland around Christmastime in the future and put this on your to-do list. Of course, having family/friends in the area helps. If you're reading this, though, you're probably friends with me. That would be a great reason to come...
;)
Being the music teacher, I planned out a concert and set up a performance time for my middle schoolers there. We performed on Sunday (Nov. 25). In the last few weeks, I was getting increasingly more anxious about this performance. I was worried that the kids would be as disrespectful and rude at the Grotto as they tend to be in class and rehearsal. I was pleasantly surprised by their performance, however. There were DEFINITELY areas in which we could improve, but some of that is due to my newness as a music teacher. Some of that is due to the age of the students AND their prior knowledge of music.
Anyways, I would HIGHLY recommend going to this event if you are in the Portland area. It's a beautiful set of lights to look at, they have a long list of groups that are performing, and it's just incredible. Plus, it's Christmas. We all tend to head to church around this time of year (even those who don't go regularly).
I will tell you, it does cost some money to get in. It's $9 for adults, and there's a discounted ticket for both seniors and children. I have some discount tickets left from our performance ($1 off), and anyone who wants them can have them.
For those of you who aren't in the Portland area, plan a trip to Portland around Christmastime in the future and put this on your to-do list. Of course, having family/friends in the area helps. If you're reading this, though, you're probably friends with me. That would be a great reason to come...
;)
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Walking
So, lately I've been walking more. It's not always a whole lot, but I've been trying to be active as much as possible. Walking seemed easiest...
Anyways, Mom, Tracy, my friend Amy, and I walked the "Turkey Trot" at the zoo/Washington Park on Thanksgiving. It was a 4 mile walk through Washington Park, and it ended inside the zoo. Talk about cool! It was a gorgeous area to walk through. It was hilly (I was not expecting that!), there were so many trees that had colorful leaves, and then (the best part!) we got to see some animals at the end. LOVE it!
Amy is extremely encouraging. She motivates me to push myself harder than I would, even without saying anything. She naturally walks faster than I do, and I tend to try to keep up with her when we walk together. It keeps me moving quickly, and maybe it's a bit of a competitive streak that keeps me trying to pass her (even though it's not easy for me to do!). She also got me to run little bits of it. She was so great about not pressuring me to do it, but I actually enjoyed it. We even ran at the very end of the "race". I started running, faster than before, and she said, "Are you going to beat me?" I responded, "YES!", but of course she passed me right at the last second. I should have known.
Thursday I spent the night out in Dundee at Mom's house, and when we got up on Friday we went walking at the neighborhood park. We walked at least 2 loops before it started raining and Mom wanted to head home. I'm not exactly sure how long each loop is, but I think it's about a mile? Whatever. We walked at least two miles from the house to the park and then back. Not absolutely sure.
This morning I went walking on the Clackamas River Trail here in Oregon City. I think I walked approximately 3 miles, because the trail length is 1.3 miles, and then I walked beyond the trail's end to the nearby bridge. The sign said it was .2 miles from the trail to the bridge. So...1.3+.2=1.5*2=3. Anyways, 3-ish miles. I even ran a few little spurts. It's going to take me a long time, but I want to be ready to run with Amy for next year's "Turkey Trot".
I need to find some new trails, though. I'm getting a little bit tired of walking the same trail. I also don't particularly want to walk around the hospital, either...
Anyone in California up for some walking when I'm down in December? :)
Anyways, Mom, Tracy, my friend Amy, and I walked the "Turkey Trot" at the zoo/Washington Park on Thanksgiving. It was a 4 mile walk through Washington Park, and it ended inside the zoo. Talk about cool! It was a gorgeous area to walk through. It was hilly (I was not expecting that!), there were so many trees that had colorful leaves, and then (the best part!) we got to see some animals at the end. LOVE it!
Amy is extremely encouraging. She motivates me to push myself harder than I would, even without saying anything. She naturally walks faster than I do, and I tend to try to keep up with her when we walk together. It keeps me moving quickly, and maybe it's a bit of a competitive streak that keeps me trying to pass her (even though it's not easy for me to do!). She also got me to run little bits of it. She was so great about not pressuring me to do it, but I actually enjoyed it. We even ran at the very end of the "race". I started running, faster than before, and she said, "Are you going to beat me?" I responded, "YES!", but of course she passed me right at the last second. I should have known.
Thursday I spent the night out in Dundee at Mom's house, and when we got up on Friday we went walking at the neighborhood park. We walked at least 2 loops before it started raining and Mom wanted to head home. I'm not exactly sure how long each loop is, but I think it's about a mile? Whatever. We walked at least two miles from the house to the park and then back. Not absolutely sure.
This morning I went walking on the Clackamas River Trail here in Oregon City. I think I walked approximately 3 miles, because the trail length is 1.3 miles, and then I walked beyond the trail's end to the nearby bridge. The sign said it was .2 miles from the trail to the bridge. So...1.3+.2=1.5*2=3. Anyways, 3-ish miles. I even ran a few little spurts. It's going to take me a long time, but I want to be ready to run with Amy for next year's "Turkey Trot".
I need to find some new trails, though. I'm getting a little bit tired of walking the same trail. I also don't particularly want to walk around the hospital, either...
Anyone in California up for some walking when I'm down in December? :)
Friday, November 23, 2012
Sisterly love
I love my sister. I start with that, because I need the reminder.
My sister is a difficult person to get along with at times. I think she means well, but her reactions and sometimes her statements are just plain rude. I've been doing everything I can think of to smooth the bumps out in our relationship. Here's the sad part: relationships are a two-way street. I can smooth my side out all I want, but the second she gets in her car and drives over the bumps on her side, she'll still be unhappy. She might even find a way to try to blame it on me. Ok, this analogy is clearly hyperbolic. Maybe even a little hyperbolic to the extreme.
I don't want to get into too many details, because they aren't important. I just need to remember that I love her, she's still growing, and she has grown up a lot. For every hard moment, there are actually two or three easier moments, which is an immense improvement over our interactions in the past. We used to have the opposite. Can you imagine two or three hard moments for each easier moment? Oy.
Anyways, I love my sister. I'm trying. Here's hoping she'll try a little harder, too.
My sister is a difficult person to get along with at times. I think she means well, but her reactions and sometimes her statements are just plain rude. I've been doing everything I can think of to smooth the bumps out in our relationship. Here's the sad part: relationships are a two-way street. I can smooth my side out all I want, but the second she gets in her car and drives over the bumps on her side, she'll still be unhappy. She might even find a way to try to blame it on me. Ok, this analogy is clearly hyperbolic. Maybe even a little hyperbolic to the extreme.
I don't want to get into too many details, because they aren't important. I just need to remember that I love her, she's still growing, and she has grown up a lot. For every hard moment, there are actually two or three easier moments, which is an immense improvement over our interactions in the past. We used to have the opposite. Can you imagine two or three hard moments for each easier moment? Oy.
Anyways, I love my sister. I'm trying. Here's hoping she'll try a little harder, too.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Restlessness
I'm sick. I'm really bad at being sick. I get whiney, lonely, and overly emotional about stupid things. Now that I think about it, I might have been getting sick when I posted my last post. I wasn't feeling well yesterday, but I thought it was a fluke.
Oh, no. Definitely not a fluke. I think I got the head cold my coworker had. She said it was bad. She described her symptoms this morning in the exact order I've been having them. She said it got so bad that her eyes felt like they were going to pop. I haven't gotten to that stage yet, but I'm definitely uncomfortable.
I love how supportive administration was today. My VP (Vice Principal for those who think in a different context than schools) asked me what my classes are for tomorrow, and she's going to have my classes join her PE classes for tomorrow. So thankful we won't need to find a sub. She also covered one of my classes this afternoon so I could go home after our Middle School rehearsal.
Here's the kicker. I've been in bed for about an hour. I'm already restless. I know I need to lay down and rest, but I honestly cannot stand it! I'm going to be in bed all day tomorrow, too, and I am not really looking forward to it. This is how I know I'm genuinely sick. I normally look forward to crawling into bed and getting cozy. I also like watching tv shows on DVD while cuddling up under my blanket.
Again, I've been in bed for about ONE hour, and I'm so beyond restless. Ugh.
HELP!!! (Not that I can think of a way you could fix it...)
Oh, no. Definitely not a fluke. I think I got the head cold my coworker had. She said it was bad. She described her symptoms this morning in the exact order I've been having them. She said it got so bad that her eyes felt like they were going to pop. I haven't gotten to that stage yet, but I'm definitely uncomfortable.
I love how supportive administration was today. My VP (Vice Principal for those who think in a different context than schools) asked me what my classes are for tomorrow, and she's going to have my classes join her PE classes for tomorrow. So thankful we won't need to find a sub. She also covered one of my classes this afternoon so I could go home after our Middle School rehearsal.
Here's the kicker. I've been in bed for about an hour. I'm already restless. I know I need to lay down and rest, but I honestly cannot stand it! I'm going to be in bed all day tomorrow, too, and I am not really looking forward to it. This is how I know I'm genuinely sick. I normally look forward to crawling into bed and getting cozy. I also like watching tv shows on DVD while cuddling up under my blanket.
Again, I've been in bed for about ONE hour, and I'm so beyond restless. Ugh.
HELP!!! (Not that I can think of a way you could fix it...)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Emotional Rollercoaster.
Ok, now, really? Being a girl really stinks right now. Talk about life being an emotional rollercoaster.
Do I know why? Absolutely not! But that's where I'm at right now. Ugh.
Do I know why? Absolutely not! But that's where I'm at right now. Ugh.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Long week
This week is shaping up to be a long week. I'm exhausted, and it's silly. We got an extra hour of sleep this weekend, so why am I so stinking tired?
I am beginning to think that the weeks I'm busiest are the best for my tiredness levels. What I mean is, last week I was much busier than I am this week, and I was not NEARLY as tired last week as I am this week.
Seriously. Is it really the business that affects it? Or is there something else?
Do you have times like this? Where you feel way more tired than you think you should be?
I am beginning to think that the weeks I'm busiest are the best for my tiredness levels. What I mean is, last week I was much busier than I am this week, and I was not NEARLY as tired last week as I am this week.
Seriously. Is it really the business that affects it? Or is there something else?
Do you have times like this? Where you feel way more tired than you think you should be?
Monday, November 5, 2012
Minor victories
So, I just wanted to share a minor weight-loss victory.
I have been working (slowly) on losing weight. I've noticed it, coworkers and friends have noticed it, and I'm feeling better about myself little bits at a time.
However, today as I was walking down the stairs at work, I looked down. Here's the background before I explain further. Normally (well, prior to this weight loss), every time I would look down at myself, I would see my belly sticking out past my boobs. I'm being blunt, because it's the facts and contributes to the "victory". Every stinkin' time, my belly would be hanging out past my boobs. It was annoying, and it made me feel just so incredibly fat.
Now, today on the other hand, I looked down. I saw my boobs, but my belly wasn't hanging out past them! I had to lean funny in order to see my belly sticking out, which means it is shrinking!! SUCCESS!
Anyways, I wanted to share my victory with someone, and I felt like this was the right place to do that. :)
I have been working (slowly) on losing weight. I've noticed it, coworkers and friends have noticed it, and I'm feeling better about myself little bits at a time.
However, today as I was walking down the stairs at work, I looked down. Here's the background before I explain further. Normally (well, prior to this weight loss), every time I would look down at myself, I would see my belly sticking out past my boobs. I'm being blunt, because it's the facts and contributes to the "victory". Every stinkin' time, my belly would be hanging out past my boobs. It was annoying, and it made me feel just so incredibly fat.
Now, today on the other hand, I looked down. I saw my boobs, but my belly wasn't hanging out past them! I had to lean funny in order to see my belly sticking out, which means it is shrinking!! SUCCESS!
Anyways, I wanted to share my victory with someone, and I felt like this was the right place to do that. :)
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Deliciousness!
I just thought I'd share a recipe. I just threw stuff together, so there aren't any set measurements.
I cut up a red bell pepper and a small yellow onion. I sauteed them in a skillet with olive oil, salt, and pepper.
While they were sauteeing, I cracked 4 eggs into a bowl and beat them together.
When the onions and peppers were cooked, I added a little bit of buffalo sauce (I'm on a buffalo kick lately). Then I added the eggs to the skillet.
When the eggs were cooked through, I poured the mixture onto a plate. I topped it with just a little bit of shredded mozzarella cheese.
SO good.
I cut up a red bell pepper and a small yellow onion. I sauteed them in a skillet with olive oil, salt, and pepper.
While they were sauteeing, I cracked 4 eggs into a bowl and beat them together.
When the onions and peppers were cooked, I added a little bit of buffalo sauce (I'm on a buffalo kick lately). Then I added the eggs to the skillet.
When the eggs were cooked through, I poured the mixture onto a plate. I topped it with just a little bit of shredded mozzarella cheese.
SO good.
Friday, November 2, 2012
I am a bad Quaker
So, there are a lot of things...ok, fine, a few things...that Quakers believe that I am just NOT good at.
First of all, generally, Quakers are commonly "teetotalers". If you don't know what that means, google it for a real explanation. This one probably isn't coherent. Let's be honest. Quakers don't drink alcohol. Really. That's the idea, anyways.
Quakers don't practice communion. There's this whole reason (which I'm not sure I understand) about rituals and not doing things just for the sake of doing them. But I have to be honest-I feel it's become a ritual to NOT take communion. At least for my family. Ok, really...just my dad. Whatever.
Quakers practice quieting themselves. See my post (http://gracezsuficient.blogspot.com/2012/09/quieting-myself.html) for my thoughts on this.
So...I'm a bad Quaker. I drink. Sometimes more than I "should". I take communion (when I am "allowed"). I don't quiet myself very well.
I like many of the ideas that Quakers have, but these 3 areas are hardest for me. I am just really bad at being a Quaker in these areas. I am sure I could get better at it, but I don't think I want to. Maybe I need to find a different denomination to claim as my own? I don't currently attend a Quaker church, so maybe I need to determine if this church is a good fit for me, and then claim it?
Anyways, I am a bad Quaker. I felt like you should know.
First of all, generally, Quakers are commonly "teetotalers". If you don't know what that means, google it for a real explanation. This one probably isn't coherent. Let's be honest. Quakers don't drink alcohol. Really. That's the idea, anyways.
Quakers don't practice communion. There's this whole reason (which I'm not sure I understand) about rituals and not doing things just for the sake of doing them. But I have to be honest-I feel it's become a ritual to NOT take communion. At least for my family. Ok, really...just my dad. Whatever.
Quakers practice quieting themselves. See my post (http://gracezsuficient.blogspot.com/2012/09/quieting-myself.html) for my thoughts on this.
So...I'm a bad Quaker. I drink. Sometimes more than I "should". I take communion (when I am "allowed"). I don't quiet myself very well.
I like many of the ideas that Quakers have, but these 3 areas are hardest for me. I am just really bad at being a Quaker in these areas. I am sure I could get better at it, but I don't think I want to. Maybe I need to find a different denomination to claim as my own? I don't currently attend a Quaker church, so maybe I need to determine if this church is a good fit for me, and then claim it?
Anyways, I am a bad Quaker. I felt like you should know.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
It's only 7:42
So, I haven't been feeling all that well. I left school this afternoon right at 3:30-something I haven't done since the school year started. I was ok with it, because I am so under the weather.
But here's the thing...I have gotten a lot done, and it's only 7:42 (as I start this post, anyways). I put my new license plates on my car (still un-named, so any ideas are helpful. Biblical, female, FZG, whatever). I made dinner (and I didn't just heat up leftovers, either!). Ok, so dinner wasn't hard. It was pasta with olive oil, salt and pepper, sundried tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. But still. I cooked it. Then I ate dinner. Then I made cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. Yum. Then I prepped the coffee maker for tomorrow morning. That hasn't happened in more than a week. I have just been doing it all in the morning. I also washed all my dishes, either in the dishwasher or by hand. I put my lunch together and put it in the fridge.
How? I seriously don't understand how I did all that, and it's only 7:42. I guess when you've been home for 4 hours, you can get stuff done? Or maybe it's that I'm normally just lazy?
I guess it doesn't really matter. I should be grateful I got all of that done!
In other news, I am crawling into bed right now.
But here's the thing...I have gotten a lot done, and it's only 7:42 (as I start this post, anyways). I put my new license plates on my car (still un-named, so any ideas are helpful. Biblical, female, FZG, whatever). I made dinner (and I didn't just heat up leftovers, either!). Ok, so dinner wasn't hard. It was pasta with olive oil, salt and pepper, sundried tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. But still. I cooked it. Then I ate dinner. Then I made cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. Yum. Then I prepped the coffee maker for tomorrow morning. That hasn't happened in more than a week. I have just been doing it all in the morning. I also washed all my dishes, either in the dishwasher or by hand. I put my lunch together and put it in the fridge.
How? I seriously don't understand how I did all that, and it's only 7:42. I guess when you've been home for 4 hours, you can get stuff done? Or maybe it's that I'm normally just lazy?
I guess it doesn't really matter. I should be grateful I got all of that done!
In other news, I am crawling into bed right now.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Accepting Responsibility
It is incredibly hard for me when someone doesn't admit their fault when they make a mistake. Honestly, I understand why you don't want to admit you messed up. It's hard for all of us. However, what's even harder for me is when we both make a mistake in the situation, I bite the bullet and admit my portion of fault, and you don't even acknowledge that you messed up.
There are multiple things that have brought this up, but I don't pin this onto any of my readers (at least not the ones I'm aware of!). Most of all, this is about my students. I admit to my students when I make a mistake. I'm human, and I want them to know it. However, I expect that they continue to show me respect despite my faults. I show them respect, and I acknowledge that they are still learning and growing. I want them to understand that I am too! This is why it is so frustrating for me when my students don't own their mistakes. WE ALL MAKE THEM. NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE YOU FOR THEM. Yes, I'm aware that people will judge you for your mistakes (because they're human), but in all reality, we should show one another some grace and understand that they will mess up from time to time (because they're human).
Really. We're all human. Can we take a moment to consider that? God didn't make us perfect. We're made in His image, but that doesn't mean we are an EXACT likeness of Him. I don't know about you, but if God is as wonderful and awesome as I believe Him to be, I don't think He'd feel any need to clone Himself. Don't you agree? We are made in His image, meaning we take after Him in some ways, but not all ways. This is why it's so important to give grace.
Now, the part that is hardest for me, is giving grace when someone won't acknowledge their mistakes and admit that they messed up. No, let's change that. The hardest part for me is giving grace to someone when they mess up, won't admit their fault, and then try to make it out to be my fault. Um, no. That's not how this works.
I'm not trying to air dirty laundry via the internet. Nor am I trying to point fingers and get everyone to notice someone's flaws. However, I feel the need to vent. As this is my blog, and the person I am feeling the need to vent about almost certainly does not read this, I am going to write about it.
Last week, one of my co-workers asked me if I could cover the door for her a few days this week because she needed to drop her "daughter" (exchange student) off at school and was afraid she'd be late due to traffic. I told her I would, but could she please put a note in my box so that I would remember. She said she'd write a note and put it in my box.
I went to California this weekend, had a blast seeing friends and celebrating the upcoming birth of a friend's baby-my "nephew". So excited. Needless to say, I was very distracted this weekend, and forgot all about covering the door, which days she needed me to do that, and everything that related to it. Even if I had realized that I didn't remember the information, I would have expected the note to jog my memory when I saw it, and I wouldn't have worried about it. However, I wasn't thinking about it AT ALL.
Monday morning rolls around. I arrive at work, check my box, go about my business. There was nothing in my box when I arrived on Monday morning. In between classes later in the morning, I went back to the office to put something in someone else's box. Lo and behold, there in my box, was a reminder note about covering the door. It said Monday, Thursday, and Friday were the days she needed me to cover. "Hmm..." I thought. Really? It's Monday, and the note appears afterwards? Ok...
Well, she walks into the office a minute later and asks me, "What happened?" I kind of looked at her dumbly, expecting more than that. When I said nothing, she continued, "I thought you were going to cover the door for me this morning?" I mustered up as much grace and patience as I could in my response, and said, "I didn't have a note in my box this morning when I arrived, and I had forgotten which days you needed me to cover the door." She replied, "Ok, honey. It was Monday, Thursday, and Friday." I began to get a little frustrated. "Yes, I got the note now. I will be there Thursday and Friday to cover."
Frustrating tingled through my body, and I felt like I had just been treated like a child. I could not believe that my co-worker was treating me this way. I let it go (I thought), and moved on. Oh, little did I know that it would come up again. This morning, I went to cover the door, and she was there (5 minutes before I was asked to be there), and I said, "I thought you needed me to cover the door?" She answered, "No, honey. It was just in case I was late." I was SO irked by this, that I had a hard time holding my tongue. I said, "Oh. I didn't realize it was just in case. I thought you knew you wouldn't be here." "No, honey. I wasn't sure how traffic would be, and I didn't hit any traffic. Monday was when I really needed it. The traffic was bad then."
DID SHE REALLY BRING MONDAY UP? Did I not ask for a note for a reason? I am not stupid. I know myself. I asked for a note, because I knew that I wouldn't remember. Tomorrow, if she treats me that way again, I'll make a mental note not to help her out again. She's been rude, and I'm over being treated like this.
Then again, anyone who knows me will know that I'll have a hard time holding my ground and not helping. I always give in on those things.
The part that amazes me, is that she admitted ZERO fault in the situation. She didn't give me a note until after the fact on Monday, and she is treating me like I messed it up. And what's worse, is that she acted like this in front of other staff, too. Calling me out on my shit is fine. Calling me out on my shit in front of people ISN'T FINE. Calling me out on my shit and ignoring your own shit in front of other people is even LESS FINE!!!
Rant over. I need to chill out tonight. :)
There are multiple things that have brought this up, but I don't pin this onto any of my readers (at least not the ones I'm aware of!). Most of all, this is about my students. I admit to my students when I make a mistake. I'm human, and I want them to know it. However, I expect that they continue to show me respect despite my faults. I show them respect, and I acknowledge that they are still learning and growing. I want them to understand that I am too! This is why it is so frustrating for me when my students don't own their mistakes. WE ALL MAKE THEM. NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE YOU FOR THEM. Yes, I'm aware that people will judge you for your mistakes (because they're human), but in all reality, we should show one another some grace and understand that they will mess up from time to time (because they're human).
Really. We're all human. Can we take a moment to consider that? God didn't make us perfect. We're made in His image, but that doesn't mean we are an EXACT likeness of Him. I don't know about you, but if God is as wonderful and awesome as I believe Him to be, I don't think He'd feel any need to clone Himself. Don't you agree? We are made in His image, meaning we take after Him in some ways, but not all ways. This is why it's so important to give grace.
Now, the part that is hardest for me, is giving grace when someone won't acknowledge their mistakes and admit that they messed up. No, let's change that. The hardest part for me is giving grace to someone when they mess up, won't admit their fault, and then try to make it out to be my fault. Um, no. That's not how this works.
I'm not trying to air dirty laundry via the internet. Nor am I trying to point fingers and get everyone to notice someone's flaws. However, I feel the need to vent. As this is my blog, and the person I am feeling the need to vent about almost certainly does not read this, I am going to write about it.
Last week, one of my co-workers asked me if I could cover the door for her a few days this week because she needed to drop her "daughter" (exchange student) off at school and was afraid she'd be late due to traffic. I told her I would, but could she please put a note in my box so that I would remember. She said she'd write a note and put it in my box.
I went to California this weekend, had a blast seeing friends and celebrating the upcoming birth of a friend's baby-my "nephew". So excited. Needless to say, I was very distracted this weekend, and forgot all about covering the door, which days she needed me to do that, and everything that related to it. Even if I had realized that I didn't remember the information, I would have expected the note to jog my memory when I saw it, and I wouldn't have worried about it. However, I wasn't thinking about it AT ALL.
Monday morning rolls around. I arrive at work, check my box, go about my business. There was nothing in my box when I arrived on Monday morning. In between classes later in the morning, I went back to the office to put something in someone else's box. Lo and behold, there in my box, was a reminder note about covering the door. It said Monday, Thursday, and Friday were the days she needed me to cover. "Hmm..." I thought. Really? It's Monday, and the note appears afterwards? Ok...
Well, she walks into the office a minute later and asks me, "What happened?" I kind of looked at her dumbly, expecting more than that. When I said nothing, she continued, "I thought you were going to cover the door for me this morning?" I mustered up as much grace and patience as I could in my response, and said, "I didn't have a note in my box this morning when I arrived, and I had forgotten which days you needed me to cover the door." She replied, "Ok, honey. It was Monday, Thursday, and Friday." I began to get a little frustrated. "Yes, I got the note now. I will be there Thursday and Friday to cover."
Frustrating tingled through my body, and I felt like I had just been treated like a child. I could not believe that my co-worker was treating me this way. I let it go (I thought), and moved on. Oh, little did I know that it would come up again. This morning, I went to cover the door, and she was there (5 minutes before I was asked to be there), and I said, "I thought you needed me to cover the door?" She answered, "No, honey. It was just in case I was late." I was SO irked by this, that I had a hard time holding my tongue. I said, "Oh. I didn't realize it was just in case. I thought you knew you wouldn't be here." "No, honey. I wasn't sure how traffic would be, and I didn't hit any traffic. Monday was when I really needed it. The traffic was bad then."
DID SHE REALLY BRING MONDAY UP? Did I not ask for a note for a reason? I am not stupid. I know myself. I asked for a note, because I knew that I wouldn't remember. Tomorrow, if she treats me that way again, I'll make a mental note not to help her out again. She's been rude, and I'm over being treated like this.
Then again, anyone who knows me will know that I'll have a hard time holding my ground and not helping. I always give in on those things.
The part that amazes me, is that she admitted ZERO fault in the situation. She didn't give me a note until after the fact on Monday, and she is treating me like I messed it up. And what's worse, is that she acted like this in front of other staff, too. Calling me out on my shit is fine. Calling me out on my shit in front of people ISN'T FINE. Calling me out on my shit and ignoring your own shit in front of other people is even LESS FINE!!!
Rant over. I need to chill out tonight. :)
Monday, October 15, 2012
Not so smooth segue...
Ok, so the main reason I'm writing this post is to share my response to a question tonight that didn't exactly match. Who knows what I'll have written by the end. I tend to type a lot once I get started. But first, you need the background story:
So, I've been attending Oregon City Evangelical Church (OCEC for short). OCEC isn't a Quaker/Friends church, but since the nearest Quaker/Friends church is a little bit of a drive, I decided I'd look for a church in my community where I thought I could be comfortable with our differences in belief. Well, I was doing some research on yellowpages.com, looking through the list of churches and clicking links to take me to the church's webpage (when provided). I also took a silly quiz I found online to see which denomination I belonged to. Well, those things are never 100%, you know, but it seemed fairly close based on where I would put myself. So, it gave some denominations that were similar.
OCEC is an "Evangelical Church" that comes from the Evangelical United Brethren Church. I'm not exactly sure on the history here, but that's ok. I had never heard of the EUBC, so I called my mom and she said it was something that could work for me. She also said my aunt had attended an EUBC at one time.
Ok, so I looked a little closer at OCEC. It seemed fairly large (nothing compared to Rose Drive, though!). They have 3 services on Sunday mornings, programs for kids nursery-high school, the have a variety of "growth groups" that meet throughout the week, including "The Inn", which is a group for 18-30(ish) year olds. THEY HAVE A GROUP FOR PEOPLE MY AGE!!! Ok, now if that wasn't enough, they also have a pretty good music program, too! There's a choir, a praise band, they have instrumentalists (trumpet, trombone, etc) that play along with the praise band; the REAL kicker, though, is that they have a handbell choir!
Um...yes? I think so! I've been going for the last 3 Sundays. I've been to the "Inn" once and handbells once. So far, I think this could be a good fit for me. It's nearby, has the kinds of programs I feel comfortable with, and even better? They focus on service. My very first week there, they were doing a blood drive, so I donated. I think I might also sign up to help at the Harvest/Fall whatever they call it thing on Halloween. I need to find out my work commitment that evening first, though.
Anyways, now to the segue I was referring to. Tonight I went to handbells for the first time. Things like that are always interesting to me, because you never know what you're walking in to. The group was excited I was there, and a few of them asked questions. For example: Have you played bells before? How long? So on and so forth.
Then, someone asked me to tell them about myself: "Are you married? Do you have kids?" My response: "No, I'm not married. I work at St. John the Apostle Catholic School."
Now, you tell me. Does that answer match the question? I don't think so. They didn't ask, "Where do you work?" or "What do you do?" They asked if I was married! Apparently I thought (subconsciously?) that working at a Catholic school means I'm not married? I'm not a nun, nor are any of the other teachers! Ha.
I just thought I'd share a laugh with you, and fill you in on the church I've found!
Now, since it's WAY past my bedtime...goodnight!
So, I've been attending Oregon City Evangelical Church (OCEC for short). OCEC isn't a Quaker/Friends church, but since the nearest Quaker/Friends church is a little bit of a drive, I decided I'd look for a church in my community where I thought I could be comfortable with our differences in belief. Well, I was doing some research on yellowpages.com, looking through the list of churches and clicking links to take me to the church's webpage (when provided). I also took a silly quiz I found online to see which denomination I belonged to. Well, those things are never 100%, you know, but it seemed fairly close based on where I would put myself. So, it gave some denominations that were similar.
OCEC is an "Evangelical Church" that comes from the Evangelical United Brethren Church. I'm not exactly sure on the history here, but that's ok. I had never heard of the EUBC, so I called my mom and she said it was something that could work for me. She also said my aunt had attended an EUBC at one time.
Ok, so I looked a little closer at OCEC. It seemed fairly large (nothing compared to Rose Drive, though!). They have 3 services on Sunday mornings, programs for kids nursery-high school, the have a variety of "growth groups" that meet throughout the week, including "The Inn", which is a group for 18-30(ish) year olds. THEY HAVE A GROUP FOR PEOPLE MY AGE!!! Ok, now if that wasn't enough, they also have a pretty good music program, too! There's a choir, a praise band, they have instrumentalists (trumpet, trombone, etc) that play along with the praise band; the REAL kicker, though, is that they have a handbell choir!
Um...yes? I think so! I've been going for the last 3 Sundays. I've been to the "Inn" once and handbells once. So far, I think this could be a good fit for me. It's nearby, has the kinds of programs I feel comfortable with, and even better? They focus on service. My very first week there, they were doing a blood drive, so I donated. I think I might also sign up to help at the Harvest/Fall whatever they call it thing on Halloween. I need to find out my work commitment that evening first, though.
Anyways, now to the segue I was referring to. Tonight I went to handbells for the first time. Things like that are always interesting to me, because you never know what you're walking in to. The group was excited I was there, and a few of them asked questions. For example: Have you played bells before? How long? So on and so forth.
Then, someone asked me to tell them about myself: "Are you married? Do you have kids?" My response: "No, I'm not married. I work at St. John the Apostle Catholic School."
Now, you tell me. Does that answer match the question? I don't think so. They didn't ask, "Where do you work?" or "What do you do?" They asked if I was married! Apparently I thought (subconsciously?) that working at a Catholic school means I'm not married? I'm not a nun, nor are any of the other teachers! Ha.
I just thought I'd share a laugh with you, and fill you in on the church I've found!
Now, since it's WAY past my bedtime...goodnight!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
ESFJ
Elsa inspired me to retake Myers-Briggs. It told me I am an ESFJ. I remember being an ENFP! I suppose we change! Here's a description of an ESFJ from personalitypage.com :
As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.
The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.
ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.
With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.
The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.
ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.
All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.
ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.
An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any.
ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine.
ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.
I think this is fairly accurate! What do you think? Also, go take the Myers-Briggs and check out your personality page info! :)
The Caregiver
As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.
The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.
ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.
With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.
The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.
ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.
All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.
ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.
An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any.
ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine.
ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.
I think this is fairly accurate! What do you think? Also, go take the Myers-Briggs and check out your personality page info! :)
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Impromptu "party"
So, yesterday at our staff meeting we got split into little groups to read articles. While I was reading in my group, one of my coworkers (from another group) comes in and asks if we can have happy hour and play Quelf at my place this afternoon (since we have inservice tomorrow). I said sure, so she put a memo up today in the office telling people they could come over to my place.
Let me tell you, it is so funny hosting an impromptu party. No one showed up, except the coworker that planned it, so she started calling people who said they would come. Eventually, there were 5 of us. It was nice, though, to sit around talking and laughing with coworkers.
I love my job, and I love the people I work with-quirks and all. We're a weird bunch, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. I enjoyed tonight. It was nice to spend time with them outside of work (even though we talked some about work things).
It's funny how you can feel insecure or a little unsure about things, but then all of a sudden have an epiphany that you're doing what you're meant to do. I feel so at peace about where I'm at in life. Thank the Lord for providing this opportunity, giving me the ability to teach, and calling me to it. I don't know where I'd be if I weren't here.
I feel like I'm rambling tonight, but that's ok. I needed to say this for me.
Let me tell you, it is so funny hosting an impromptu party. No one showed up, except the coworker that planned it, so she started calling people who said they would come. Eventually, there were 5 of us. It was nice, though, to sit around talking and laughing with coworkers.
I love my job, and I love the people I work with-quirks and all. We're a weird bunch, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. I enjoyed tonight. It was nice to spend time with them outside of work (even though we talked some about work things).
It's funny how you can feel insecure or a little unsure about things, but then all of a sudden have an epiphany that you're doing what you're meant to do. I feel so at peace about where I'm at in life. Thank the Lord for providing this opportunity, giving me the ability to teach, and calling me to it. I don't know where I'd be if I weren't here.
I feel like I'm rambling tonight, but that's ok. I needed to say this for me.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
An October Exploration + CAR!
So, it's October. First of all, click play above. Listen as you read. Eric Whitacre is amazing. (Thanks, Julie for reminding me of his fabulousness!).
***********************************************************************
Mom and I were looking for someplace to go walking on Sunday. We decided to go to the Tualatin River National Wildlife Refuge. I am SO glad she suggested it. Here are some pictures from that trip.
The very next day, I went on a completely different sort of adventure. I bought my first car! Well, the first car I purchased for myself, rather than a car provided by Mom or Dad. The check engine light came on in my 1999 Honda Civic Sunday evening as I was driving home from Mom's house. I took it in Monday (yesterday) afternoon to get it checked. The service man cleared the light, but he also mentioned that it was showing that I needed my O2 sensor replaced sometime soon-ish. He said it was not life threatening, but that it needed to be taken care of. I asked him how much that would cost. He said it costs around $300, and they don't keep them in stock. He said they would have to special order it, and that it is a job that takes a few hours, so I'd have to drop my car off for the day when I had it done. Well, I didn't like that. I had prepped myself for the possibility that I would need to replace the car when the check engine light came on. I didn't want to pay $300 to fix something on a car I was planning to replace soon anyways (I was planning on early spring). Well, I called Mom, she headed out, we got the car cleaned out and took it over. I went in thinking it would be mainly informational, but under the right circumstances, I would purchase. Well, they made it happen. They found a way to fit into the guidelines I had for purchasing last night (with some help from Mom-THANKS!!).
It is a 2012 Honda Civic LX. The color is called "Cool Mist Metallic". Pretty, isn't it? I still need to come up with a name. Any suggestions are welcome!
Okay, now that I've officially dorked out on a car...can I mention again how gorgeous Eric Whitacre's music is? October has LONG been one of my favorites from Whitacre. It's gorgeous, and the Wind Ensemble at my high school played it when I was a sophomore. Good memories are attached. I thought it fit a post like this...in October.
Happy October!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Writing
I had forgotten how therapeutic it is to write. Letters, blogs, whatever I write, I seem to feel better after I get the words out.
I skipped blogging last night, because I didn't feel the need for it. Let me make that a little clearer. I've been blogging more recently, because I felt I needed the outlet and I needed the "therapy" of it. Yesterday, however, I wrote a lengthy letter to a penpal, and I didn't feel the need to get on the blog and write.
Why is it that I can go for weeks, months, years without writing? I know how writing makes me feel. Can't I see the need for it to be a regular part of my life? I used to enjoy writing poetry. Lately, poems haven't been coming to me. I wonder, though, if it's partially due to the fact that I've slacked off in my writing? I haven't been writing, so my writing doesn't happen as easily. Does that even make sense?
Here's the last poem I remember writing. I don't know if I posted it on this blog (or elsewhere) before now, but even if I had, here it is:
the salt of my tears tingles on my cheeks
the drops trickle down until they reach my lips
and the tang brings back worse memories than this
i am overwhelmed with emotions that rush in
coming from memory after memory, hurt after hurt
you are a part of that and you don't even realize
that little thing was so monumental to my spirit
it causes more pain than you could even imagine
waves of sorrow, anguish, sadness, and grief rush in
the splashes on my glasses stain and gather dust
yet another reminder of what you have done
i could tell you what distress you have caused me
but that would be of no sincere help
you might half-heartedly apologize or make light of it
forever will pass before you truly feel penance for your fault
for penance requires tenderness of heart
that is something you do not possess
rather, your heart is stiff and black
no joy can be found in such a desolate place
but to those whose eyes from which it has been concealed
they seem to find your heart to be a cozy space
they lack knowledge of the deceit that you boast
this pain that results from your actions needs to be abandoned
forsaken and left behind to sink down, down, down
falling into the abyss that is this void
maybe then I can move forward
maybe I can be genuine with the world around me
show them the scars that are healing because of you
Um...does anyone else read that and wonder what was going on? I do! The date on the "sticky" I wrote it on (on my Macbook) is July 15, 2010. I was clearly upset about someone and some situation that came about. I have absolutely no clue who or what I wrote this about. This poem is pretty shocking, even knowing that I wrote it!
Do you find writing to be kind of cathartic for you? Do you have any poetry that you have gone back to after a long time that shocked you? Do you have poetry you aren't shocked by, but want to share?
I skipped blogging last night, because I didn't feel the need for it. Let me make that a little clearer. I've been blogging more recently, because I felt I needed the outlet and I needed the "therapy" of it. Yesterday, however, I wrote a lengthy letter to a penpal, and I didn't feel the need to get on the blog and write.
Why is it that I can go for weeks, months, years without writing? I know how writing makes me feel. Can't I see the need for it to be a regular part of my life? I used to enjoy writing poetry. Lately, poems haven't been coming to me. I wonder, though, if it's partially due to the fact that I've slacked off in my writing? I haven't been writing, so my writing doesn't happen as easily. Does that even make sense?
Here's the last poem I remember writing. I don't know if I posted it on this blog (or elsewhere) before now, but even if I had, here it is:
the salt of my tears tingles on my cheeks
the drops trickle down until they reach my lips
and the tang brings back worse memories than this
i am overwhelmed with emotions that rush in
coming from memory after memory, hurt after hurt
you are a part of that and you don't even realize
that little thing was so monumental to my spirit
it causes more pain than you could even imagine
waves of sorrow, anguish, sadness, and grief rush in
the splashes on my glasses stain and gather dust
yet another reminder of what you have done
i could tell you what distress you have caused me
but that would be of no sincere help
you might half-heartedly apologize or make light of it
forever will pass before you truly feel penance for your fault
for penance requires tenderness of heart
that is something you do not possess
rather, your heart is stiff and black
no joy can be found in such a desolate place
but to those whose eyes from which it has been concealed
they seem to find your heart to be a cozy space
they lack knowledge of the deceit that you boast
this pain that results from your actions needs to be abandoned
forsaken and left behind to sink down, down, down
falling into the abyss that is this void
maybe then I can move forward
maybe I can be genuine with the world around me
show them the scars that are healing because of you
Um...does anyone else read that and wonder what was going on? I do! The date on the "sticky" I wrote it on (on my Macbook) is July 15, 2010. I was clearly upset about someone and some situation that came about. I have absolutely no clue who or what I wrote this about. This poem is pretty shocking, even knowing that I wrote it!
Do you find writing to be kind of cathartic for you? Do you have any poetry that you have gone back to after a long time that shocked you? Do you have poetry you aren't shocked by, but want to share?
Monday, October 1, 2012
Not-really-Scripture-Tripping...
It's been a while since I've done a Scripture Trip. So, here's a new one for you.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9
Now, the reason I say this isn't truly a Scripture Trip is because I didn't "stumble" upon in while reading my Bible. I found this on a friend's blog. Check her blog out: http://alonewithmytea.blogspot.com
She's pretty wonderful. Anyways, she's doing this destroy your journal competition, and for the competition she's making an art journal. She uploaded some pictures onto her blog, and she used this verse on a page that she posted on her blog.
I LOVE this verse. Why is there so much truth to it? I am constantly planning things our in my mind (my heart, too). Do they ever turn out the way I plan? Of course not! How am I supposed to control life simply by planning things out in my brain? I often fail to allow for others' free-will, error, etc. God knows what's best for us. I truly believe that he does.
When will we learn to "let go and let God"? I need to do this in so many areas of my life. I find it extremely hard to do in the "love" arena. Not that I have ANYTHING to tell that's much worthwhile there. Love is not something I would consider myself knowledgeable about. Well, I guessed experienced at is more true. I know a lot about love. The Scriptures tell us about love. God is love. But let's be honest, that's not the sort of love you thought I was talking about, was it? If you didn't think it was, then you'd be right.
I was, of course, talking about romantic love. Worldly love. Now, I don't want you to confuse "worldly love" with lust. That's not what I mean. I mean love as our world tends to perceive it, rather than love as God has explained to us.
I am trying so hard not to allow myself to actively search for "Mr. Right". Can I tell you that this is one of my biggest struggles? I am always looking at the men around me as potential husbands. Often, the first thing I do when I meet a man is look at the ring finger on his left hand. How shallow and selfish is that? Could I PLEASE find his worth as a human being, rather than solely as a possible husband?
Ugh, I disgust myself sometimes.
It's something I do, though. I feel as though I can't help it. That's probably not entirely true, but it's hard to resist. Now, I don't think it's completely wrong of me to look. I don't think that should be the very first thing I do, but I am single, and I'm bound to meet my (future) husband at some point. It's extremely likely that if I do indeed someday get married, that some man that I meet at some time in the future is going to be that man I marry. HA. Re-read that sentence if you need to. I needed to, and I wrote it!
My point is, no matter what your plans are, or how fabulous you think they will be, don't forget that it's not your plans that matter! God has bigger, better, more valuable, and more beneficial plans for you. (ME TOO!)
I'm not saying it's easy to admit or acknowledge. Clearly I battle this regularly. Just know that it's true. God loves you, and His plans are better. They just are.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9
Now, the reason I say this isn't truly a Scripture Trip is because I didn't "stumble" upon in while reading my Bible. I found this on a friend's blog. Check her blog out: http://alonewithmytea.blogspot.com
She's pretty wonderful. Anyways, she's doing this destroy your journal competition, and for the competition she's making an art journal. She uploaded some pictures onto her blog, and she used this verse on a page that she posted on her blog.
I LOVE this verse. Why is there so much truth to it? I am constantly planning things our in my mind (my heart, too). Do they ever turn out the way I plan? Of course not! How am I supposed to control life simply by planning things out in my brain? I often fail to allow for others' free-will, error, etc. God knows what's best for us. I truly believe that he does.
When will we learn to "let go and let God"? I need to do this in so many areas of my life. I find it extremely hard to do in the "love" arena. Not that I have ANYTHING to tell that's much worthwhile there. Love is not something I would consider myself knowledgeable about. Well, I guessed experienced at is more true. I know a lot about love. The Scriptures tell us about love. God is love. But let's be honest, that's not the sort of love you thought I was talking about, was it? If you didn't think it was, then you'd be right.
I was, of course, talking about romantic love. Worldly love. Now, I don't want you to confuse "worldly love" with lust. That's not what I mean. I mean love as our world tends to perceive it, rather than love as God has explained to us.
I am trying so hard not to allow myself to actively search for "Mr. Right". Can I tell you that this is one of my biggest struggles? I am always looking at the men around me as potential husbands. Often, the first thing I do when I meet a man is look at the ring finger on his left hand. How shallow and selfish is that? Could I PLEASE find his worth as a human being, rather than solely as a possible husband?
Ugh, I disgust myself sometimes.
It's something I do, though. I feel as though I can't help it. That's probably not entirely true, but it's hard to resist. Now, I don't think it's completely wrong of me to look. I don't think that should be the very first thing I do, but I am single, and I'm bound to meet my (future) husband at some point. It's extremely likely that if I do indeed someday get married, that some man that I meet at some time in the future is going to be that man I marry. HA. Re-read that sentence if you need to. I needed to, and I wrote it!
My point is, no matter what your plans are, or how fabulous you think they will be, don't forget that it's not your plans that matter! God has bigger, better, more valuable, and more beneficial plans for you. (ME TOO!)
I'm not saying it's easy to admit or acknowledge. Clearly I battle this regularly. Just know that it's true. God loves you, and His plans are better. They just are.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Quieting myself
So, Quakers don't take physical communion. Instead, we commune with God by quieting ourselves and listening to His Spirit. I don't remember this happening very much growing up. Rose Drive Friends Church (hereafter referred to as RDFC) did this, but it was about 1 minute long. RDFC was the first church I attended growing up where I remember this quiet time happening at all. I remember 1 minute of silence being absolutely excruciating!
Well, since I've moved to the Pacific Northwest, I've had the opportunity to attend a few more Friends (Quaker) churches. 2nd street, while linked to the Friends church, did not wholly embrace all the Quaker-isms. I actually can't remember if they did the silent times, or if they did how long they were. Newberg Friends, on the other hand, took it to a new level for me. Not only did they have the quiet times, but they had long periods of their services set aside for silent times. During these silent times, however, not only were you supposed to quiet yourself and listen to God's Spirit, but if you felt the Spirit's leading, you could stand and share whatever you were lead to share with the congregation. Reedwood Friends had a similar time in their services. I know there were other Friends churches in the area that had entire services that were "Unprogrammed", or entirely purposed for these silent times and sharing as the Spirit led.
Well, I feel it is not completely necessary for me to say that I struggle with quieting myself. Anyone who knows me beyond simply being acquaintances probably is aware that I am not someone who can sit still and be quiet for that long. However, that is all the outward quietness anyways! As Quakers, we are encouraged to quiet our inner selves. I know no one can fully understand how hard this is for me, because you've never been inside my brain. I'm sure some of you struggle with similar things, but let me tell you...I am CONSTANTLY thinking. It is hard for me to clear my head before bed, let alone as I sit in the pew in church on Sunday morning. Now, I'm not saying that I spend these quiet times thinking about what I'm going to eat for lunch, or who I want to call/text and see if they are free to hang out. No, it's not exactly that. It's just random thoughts that I can't turn off.
For example: Today, I went to a new church. It's not a Friends/Quaker church, because there aren't any Friends/Quaker churches in Oregon City. I don't particularly want to leave my immediate community for church, so I did some research and found a church I thought I'd be willing to attend. I figured I'd at least try it, anyways. Well, first of all, when the pastor said we were going to have silent prayer time, I prepped myself for a few minutes of silence. Oh, no. The organ kept playing. There was my first problem. Music? I'm totally not going to be focused on prayer now! However, I tried, despite the fact that I knew before I started that it was a losing battle. Well, I prayed for about...10 seconds, before my brain started thinking about my lesson plans for the week, and how certain students were doing, and which students I'd need to check in with and see if they needed help, and OH! I wonder what my coworker does with that student in his/her classroom. Oh, boy. Maybe I should've focused my prayers toward school. Mind you, each of these thoughts took up no more than 3 seconds each. This is practically my stream of consciousness as it happened. Well, that was pretty much all I had time for! The silent prayer time was probably about a minute or just over! It's weird going back to short silent prayers after sitting for more than 20 minutes at some churches.
I'm going to make it a goal of mine to work on quieting myself. I try to do it during Mass at school. I can't take communion in Mass, since I'm not a confirmed Catholic. Quakers don't usually do communion anyways, though I do partake sometimes (depending on where I am and the requirements/pressure). Instead, during Mass, after I get back and have knelt down, I do my best to quiet myself and commune with God. It's hard, especially since there's music, children all around me, and people moving through the aisles as they take communion. I try to focus on quieting myself for a minute or so, though, because it's the only communion with God I can have in a Catholic Mass.
I suppose I'd better start quieting myself at other times of the day/week, too.
I have this problem at night, sometimes. I read in bed-it's my means of winding down so I can get to sleep. Well, I often read until my eyelids are too heavy to keep open. Sometimes, though, as soon as I turn off my reading light, my brain starts going a mile a minute and I can't get to sleep. Ugh. Quieting myself is just so hard!
Anyone else have trouble with this? Whether in church or bed...haha!
Well, since I've moved to the Pacific Northwest, I've had the opportunity to attend a few more Friends (Quaker) churches. 2nd street, while linked to the Friends church, did not wholly embrace all the Quaker-isms. I actually can't remember if they did the silent times, or if they did how long they were. Newberg Friends, on the other hand, took it to a new level for me. Not only did they have the quiet times, but they had long periods of their services set aside for silent times. During these silent times, however, not only were you supposed to quiet yourself and listen to God's Spirit, but if you felt the Spirit's leading, you could stand and share whatever you were lead to share with the congregation. Reedwood Friends had a similar time in their services. I know there were other Friends churches in the area that had entire services that were "Unprogrammed", or entirely purposed for these silent times and sharing as the Spirit led.
Well, I feel it is not completely necessary for me to say that I struggle with quieting myself. Anyone who knows me beyond simply being acquaintances probably is aware that I am not someone who can sit still and be quiet for that long. However, that is all the outward quietness anyways! As Quakers, we are encouraged to quiet our inner selves. I know no one can fully understand how hard this is for me, because you've never been inside my brain. I'm sure some of you struggle with similar things, but let me tell you...I am CONSTANTLY thinking. It is hard for me to clear my head before bed, let alone as I sit in the pew in church on Sunday morning. Now, I'm not saying that I spend these quiet times thinking about what I'm going to eat for lunch, or who I want to call/text and see if they are free to hang out. No, it's not exactly that. It's just random thoughts that I can't turn off.
For example: Today, I went to a new church. It's not a Friends/Quaker church, because there aren't any Friends/Quaker churches in Oregon City. I don't particularly want to leave my immediate community for church, so I did some research and found a church I thought I'd be willing to attend. I figured I'd at least try it, anyways. Well, first of all, when the pastor said we were going to have silent prayer time, I prepped myself for a few minutes of silence. Oh, no. The organ kept playing. There was my first problem. Music? I'm totally not going to be focused on prayer now! However, I tried, despite the fact that I knew before I started that it was a losing battle. Well, I prayed for about...10 seconds, before my brain started thinking about my lesson plans for the week, and how certain students were doing, and which students I'd need to check in with and see if they needed help, and OH! I wonder what my coworker does with that student in his/her classroom. Oh, boy. Maybe I should've focused my prayers toward school. Mind you, each of these thoughts took up no more than 3 seconds each. This is practically my stream of consciousness as it happened. Well, that was pretty much all I had time for! The silent prayer time was probably about a minute or just over! It's weird going back to short silent prayers after sitting for more than 20 minutes at some churches.
I'm going to make it a goal of mine to work on quieting myself. I try to do it during Mass at school. I can't take communion in Mass, since I'm not a confirmed Catholic. Quakers don't usually do communion anyways, though I do partake sometimes (depending on where I am and the requirements/pressure). Instead, during Mass, after I get back and have knelt down, I do my best to quiet myself and commune with God. It's hard, especially since there's music, children all around me, and people moving through the aisles as they take communion. I try to focus on quieting myself for a minute or so, though, because it's the only communion with God I can have in a Catholic Mass.
I suppose I'd better start quieting myself at other times of the day/week, too.
I have this problem at night, sometimes. I read in bed-it's my means of winding down so I can get to sleep. Well, I often read until my eyelids are too heavy to keep open. Sometimes, though, as soon as I turn off my reading light, my brain starts going a mile a minute and I can't get to sleep. Ugh. Quieting myself is just so hard!
Anyone else have trouble with this? Whether in church or bed...haha!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Fall has arrived!
Okay, so I LOVE fall. The school year has started, the weather is cooling down, there's a smell in the air I just can't describe, and it's just a happy time of year. Oh, and did I mention apples?! I love apples.
Fall is possibly my favorite season, even though I enjoy all 4 seasons for various reasons. Fall reminds me each year of my childhood excitement going back to school, doing Halloween activities at school/church (i.e. Harvest Festival or Pumpkin Party), Thanksgiving and gathering with family! It's the perfect middle ground between the scorching heat of summer and the bitter cold of winter.
One thing I miss about California is the dry weather in fall. Yes, there was always that one week when it poured in mid-to-late October, but the rest of fall in California was typically dry. Oregon fall? Not so much. It's usually wet, wet, and did I mention wet? Well, this year has been a fabulous back to school treat! We have had almost no rain the entire month of September, and coming into the first week of October, the forecast looks dry, too! I cannot say clearly enough how absolutely ecstatic about this I am.
I know my students are loving the weather, too, because they all DREAD inside recess days. Little do they know that the teachers aren't thrilled about it either. Especially during the first lunch recess. When there are 4 classes crammed into the gym, the teachers cringe and pray for time to move faster. Well, I do anyways. There is absolutely nothing like 70+ children running, screaming, throwing bouncy balls, and hiding behind bleachers to make your ears bleed and your stomach churn. Okay, maybe it's not quite that bad. I will say, though, that it's pretty terrible to have that many children between 4 and 8 in the gym all at once. That's just a little too much for my liking midday. :)
So, needless to say, dry weather in the fall is a rare commodity in Oregon, and I am pleased that we are able to enjoy it! I hope, though, that it doesn't push our winter weather back too far. Last year, we had a snow day the day before spring break started. That was bizarre, unexpected, and a little ridiculous. I would like to avoid that in 2013. Of course, that's assuming the Mayan calendar's end doesn't mean the end of the world, too. Not that I believe any of that. It's just one of those things people mention because everyone knows that someone out there does actually believe that.
Another thing I love about fall is that I can actually start wearing long sleeves! I like my long sleeve shirts, but I have to store them most of the year. It's not quite cool enough yet this year for me to pull them all out and start wearing them in my daily wardrobe, but I've worn a couple in attempt to get the fall routine started. My classroom this year is a sauna, though. That's without students in it, too. Add 31 more bodies to an already HOT room, and believe me, you're wishing you were wearing a robe, slippers, and nothing else. That would be in the steam filled (NOT student filled) room, of course. No, I don't wear a robe and slippers in my classroom. That would not go over well with anyone, especially me!
Apples!!! I tend to eat an apple every day at lunch. Well, at least weekdays. My weekend routine is not quite the same. Oh, well. I love apples, but I do have favorites. Not all apples are created equal. Most people know that Red Delicious apples are kind of boring. They have a wonderful red color, but the apples themselves are not so tasty. Galas, Fujis, Braeburns, etc. are better tasting, but not overly flavorful (in my opinion). Granny Smiths are super tart, and that's great when you're in the right mood. Jazz apples are my favorites for pies. I think they have just enough tart and just enough sweet to make the pies just that much more enjoyable to eat. Now, if I'm going to eat the apple raw and as it is, I'm going to look for something with a good strong flavor. The apples I tend to gravitate to for that are Pink Lady and Honeycrisp. These two apples are distinct from each other in color, flavor, and often size. Pink Lady apples are a bit smaller, they are a pinky-red color, and they have a sharper tart hint to their flavor. They still have some sweetness to them, but the tartness comes through as well. Honeycrisps are often larger (in my experience), yellow/green/red variations, and are sweet. I don't exactly know why the word "honey" is in the name. I don't taste honey when I eat a honeycrisp. They are, however, incredibly delicious. They are probably my #1 favorite apple. I haven't tried baking with them yet, because I always eat them before I get the chance. I don't know if the flavors would be as strong after baking, but maybe I will buy a few intentionally to bake into a pie or cobbler.
Pumpkin is also wonderful to bake with. I like pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cookies, etc. The thing about pumpkin, though, is that I like to wait until at least mid-October to start using or eating it. I haven't even indulged in a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks yet! In a couple weeks, I'll cave. It's just not time yet!
Did I mention that I love fall? What are some of your favorite fall things?
Fall is possibly my favorite season, even though I enjoy all 4 seasons for various reasons. Fall reminds me each year of my childhood excitement going back to school, doing Halloween activities at school/church (i.e. Harvest Festival or Pumpkin Party), Thanksgiving and gathering with family! It's the perfect middle ground between the scorching heat of summer and the bitter cold of winter.
One thing I miss about California is the dry weather in fall. Yes, there was always that one week when it poured in mid-to-late October, but the rest of fall in California was typically dry. Oregon fall? Not so much. It's usually wet, wet, and did I mention wet? Well, this year has been a fabulous back to school treat! We have had almost no rain the entire month of September, and coming into the first week of October, the forecast looks dry, too! I cannot say clearly enough how absolutely ecstatic about this I am.
I know my students are loving the weather, too, because they all DREAD inside recess days. Little do they know that the teachers aren't thrilled about it either. Especially during the first lunch recess. When there are 4 classes crammed into the gym, the teachers cringe and pray for time to move faster. Well, I do anyways. There is absolutely nothing like 70+ children running, screaming, throwing bouncy balls, and hiding behind bleachers to make your ears bleed and your stomach churn. Okay, maybe it's not quite that bad. I will say, though, that it's pretty terrible to have that many children between 4 and 8 in the gym all at once. That's just a little too much for my liking midday. :)
So, needless to say, dry weather in the fall is a rare commodity in Oregon, and I am pleased that we are able to enjoy it! I hope, though, that it doesn't push our winter weather back too far. Last year, we had a snow day the day before spring break started. That was bizarre, unexpected, and a little ridiculous. I would like to avoid that in 2013. Of course, that's assuming the Mayan calendar's end doesn't mean the end of the world, too. Not that I believe any of that. It's just one of those things people mention because everyone knows that someone out there does actually believe that.
Another thing I love about fall is that I can actually start wearing long sleeves! I like my long sleeve shirts, but I have to store them most of the year. It's not quite cool enough yet this year for me to pull them all out and start wearing them in my daily wardrobe, but I've worn a couple in attempt to get the fall routine started. My classroom this year is a sauna, though. That's without students in it, too. Add 31 more bodies to an already HOT room, and believe me, you're wishing you were wearing a robe, slippers, and nothing else. That would be in the steam filled (NOT student filled) room, of course. No, I don't wear a robe and slippers in my classroom. That would not go over well with anyone, especially me!
Apples!!! I tend to eat an apple every day at lunch. Well, at least weekdays. My weekend routine is not quite the same. Oh, well. I love apples, but I do have favorites. Not all apples are created equal. Most people know that Red Delicious apples are kind of boring. They have a wonderful red color, but the apples themselves are not so tasty. Galas, Fujis, Braeburns, etc. are better tasting, but not overly flavorful (in my opinion). Granny Smiths are super tart, and that's great when you're in the right mood. Jazz apples are my favorites for pies. I think they have just enough tart and just enough sweet to make the pies just that much more enjoyable to eat. Now, if I'm going to eat the apple raw and as it is, I'm going to look for something with a good strong flavor. The apples I tend to gravitate to for that are Pink Lady and Honeycrisp. These two apples are distinct from each other in color, flavor, and often size. Pink Lady apples are a bit smaller, they are a pinky-red color, and they have a sharper tart hint to their flavor. They still have some sweetness to them, but the tartness comes through as well. Honeycrisps are often larger (in my experience), yellow/green/red variations, and are sweet. I don't exactly know why the word "honey" is in the name. I don't taste honey when I eat a honeycrisp. They are, however, incredibly delicious. They are probably my #1 favorite apple. I haven't tried baking with them yet, because I always eat them before I get the chance. I don't know if the flavors would be as strong after baking, but maybe I will buy a few intentionally to bake into a pie or cobbler.
Pumpkin is also wonderful to bake with. I like pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cookies, etc. The thing about pumpkin, though, is that I like to wait until at least mid-October to start using or eating it. I haven't even indulged in a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks yet! In a couple weeks, I'll cave. It's just not time yet!
Did I mention that I love fall? What are some of your favorite fall things?
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Glee Season 4!
Ok, so I am behind a little bit. I admit it. During the week, I'm a hermit who goes to bed super early. Yep. Oh, well.
So, where to begin? I guess first of all, as soon as Britney, Tina, Blaine, and Wade/Unique started the whole "New Rachel" battle, I knew it wouldn't be any of them. I knew that there had to be someone new that would show up before the end of the episode. Was I right? Of course. Glee's fairly predictable. Marley is definitely the new Rachel.
As for Rachel herself-I am pretty damn sure that she's going to have issues with that dance teacher of hers. I wouldn't be surprised if she became a favorite student in the class only to find out some tragic story about her teacher that then haunts her through the season. I'm not sure exactly what they're trying to set up, but something's in the works. I have no doubts, though, that Rachel will work herself too hard in attempts to impress Kate Hudson's character. Do we even know her name yet?
I teared up when Kurt's dad started crying. Maybe I'm too emotional, but that was definitely an emotional scene! I'm glad Kurt's in NY. I was super frustrated early in the episode that he was being the high school cling-on. I always had a hard time with people who came back too often after graduating when I was still in high school. I tried not to be that kind of a person, though looking back I may have been. I think there's a sense when you graduate that you want to hang on to who you were and what you accomplished in high school, that you just lose the honest sense of how much you're clinging to the past. Anyways, I'm glad Blaine pushed Kurt to leave Lima. He needed out-the barista gig was not working for him.
Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake. I didn't see it coming, but I am not surprised by his behavior that he is Puck's brother. He's got the whole smoldering good looks/smoldering anger thing going, which I think has to be a part of every high school-set show. I've watched too many with these types of characters to think otherwise. He's got a great voice, and I think he'll fight his desire to be in Glee for a while, but eventually give in. He wants it bad. We can see that in his face when he watched their rehearsal at the end of the episode. He doesn't want to be someone's charity case, though. Schuester is right, though-Glee did WONDERS for Puck, and I think it would for Jake, too. I am really looking forward to hearing more of Jake's story, too! Why doesn't Puck know about him?
Marley. Yes, she may very well be the new Rachel. I know that's my opinion. Blaine can be the new Finn. They'll need one of those, too. However, Marley's got a little more interest in her character than simply being the new Rachel. She's got enough going in her life to be wildly unpopular with her classmates. It's obvious that no one seems to like her mom. It's sad, because I guarantee you that they'll put some story in about why she's so overweight that will make it all make more sense. You can tell that by Marley's reactions and her discussions with her mom. Oh my goodness. I have a feeling I'm going to love Marley's mom. I kind of feel like I can relate a little bit-being overweight and all. However, there's also this fighter instinct she has to make everything the best she can for her daughter. I love that. Marley's clothes don't look bad. I hope she fully opens up to Glee about her clothes, her mom, and whatever the story is about her previous school.
Brody. I had to go look his name up, so don't feel weird about now remembering who he is. I mean, maybe you listened better than I did when he introduced himself. I may have still been in a state of shock after watching him step out of the shower in front of Rachel. He is incredibly attractive, and he's obviously going to be a drama-inspiring character this season. There's bound to be issues between Finn and Rachel due to this Brody character. He seriously seems to be exactly what Rachel needs right now, though. Encouragement and inspiration, plus the fact that he's been there himself.
I half expected Madam Tibideaux to give some sort of criticism to Rachel. Maybe we'll see a little more of that later in the season. She's got to push her in some way, or what's the point of all the drama at the end of last season?
Sue's baby, Robin. First of all, was it just me, or did the baby look like possibly there was some sort of disability there? I mean, I'm not trying to say it was an ugly baby. It just didn't look exactly normal to me. I suppose, though, being Sue's baby it can't be normal, even if it seems that way! I just mean, Sue's sister has a disability, and Sue could be a carrier or something, couldn't she? I suppose this will either prove true or false as the season continues.
One last thing...the new cheerio captain is getting on my nerves. Sure, Quinn and Santana were annoying, but this chick is literally a bitch. I do not like her one bit. How long do you think she has before she's part of Glee? I wouldn't actually bet on it, but the way they do things, maybe by mid-season she'll at least sing in an episode.
Hey, Amy! You were SO right. They are definitely setting themselves up for a better story arc this year!!! Last year seems so BLAH when compared to just this first episode!
Now for the music. My favorite of the entire episode was New York State of Mind. It was actually what made me think Marley was definitely the new Rachel. Duh. Anyways, it's a song I'd never heard, but I rather enjoyed it!
Call Me Maybe? Cliche. I expected Glee to do it. I'm glad it's out of the way early in the season. It leaves room for better songs later, and it was actually a good use of the song. I'm not sure there would have been a natural way of putting it into the episodes otherwise.
Chasing Pavements. LOVED it. I didn't know the song before that. I like the song, but once I discovered Adele sings it I was a bit disappointed. She's obnoxious and overplayed. However, Marley probably sang the song way better than Adele could've anyways.
What's the song Blaine sang to Kurt in the quad? I liked that one, too!
Jake's audition song-I've always loved the Fray. Never Say Never is a good song, too. Good choice for Jake! =)
All in all, this episode had good music!
I hope I haven't bored you with my blabbing about Glee. I just needed to put these thoughts down. I have no intentions of posting about every episode, but I did enjoy writing this blog today! Who knows.
So, where to begin? I guess first of all, as soon as Britney, Tina, Blaine, and Wade/Unique started the whole "New Rachel" battle, I knew it wouldn't be any of them. I knew that there had to be someone new that would show up before the end of the episode. Was I right? Of course. Glee's fairly predictable. Marley is definitely the new Rachel.
As for Rachel herself-I am pretty damn sure that she's going to have issues with that dance teacher of hers. I wouldn't be surprised if she became a favorite student in the class only to find out some tragic story about her teacher that then haunts her through the season. I'm not sure exactly what they're trying to set up, but something's in the works. I have no doubts, though, that Rachel will work herself too hard in attempts to impress Kate Hudson's character. Do we even know her name yet?
I teared up when Kurt's dad started crying. Maybe I'm too emotional, but that was definitely an emotional scene! I'm glad Kurt's in NY. I was super frustrated early in the episode that he was being the high school cling-on. I always had a hard time with people who came back too often after graduating when I was still in high school. I tried not to be that kind of a person, though looking back I may have been. I think there's a sense when you graduate that you want to hang on to who you were and what you accomplished in high school, that you just lose the honest sense of how much you're clinging to the past. Anyways, I'm glad Blaine pushed Kurt to leave Lima. He needed out-the barista gig was not working for him.
Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake. I didn't see it coming, but I am not surprised by his behavior that he is Puck's brother. He's got the whole smoldering good looks/smoldering anger thing going, which I think has to be a part of every high school-set show. I've watched too many with these types of characters to think otherwise. He's got a great voice, and I think he'll fight his desire to be in Glee for a while, but eventually give in. He wants it bad. We can see that in his face when he watched their rehearsal at the end of the episode. He doesn't want to be someone's charity case, though. Schuester is right, though-Glee did WONDERS for Puck, and I think it would for Jake, too. I am really looking forward to hearing more of Jake's story, too! Why doesn't Puck know about him?
Marley. Yes, she may very well be the new Rachel. I know that's my opinion. Blaine can be the new Finn. They'll need one of those, too. However, Marley's got a little more interest in her character than simply being the new Rachel. She's got enough going in her life to be wildly unpopular with her classmates. It's obvious that no one seems to like her mom. It's sad, because I guarantee you that they'll put some story in about why she's so overweight that will make it all make more sense. You can tell that by Marley's reactions and her discussions with her mom. Oh my goodness. I have a feeling I'm going to love Marley's mom. I kind of feel like I can relate a little bit-being overweight and all. However, there's also this fighter instinct she has to make everything the best she can for her daughter. I love that. Marley's clothes don't look bad. I hope she fully opens up to Glee about her clothes, her mom, and whatever the story is about her previous school.
Brody. I had to go look his name up, so don't feel weird about now remembering who he is. I mean, maybe you listened better than I did when he introduced himself. I may have still been in a state of shock after watching him step out of the shower in front of Rachel. He is incredibly attractive, and he's obviously going to be a drama-inspiring character this season. There's bound to be issues between Finn and Rachel due to this Brody character. He seriously seems to be exactly what Rachel needs right now, though. Encouragement and inspiration, plus the fact that he's been there himself.
I half expected Madam Tibideaux to give some sort of criticism to Rachel. Maybe we'll see a little more of that later in the season. She's got to push her in some way, or what's the point of all the drama at the end of last season?
Sue's baby, Robin. First of all, was it just me, or did the baby look like possibly there was some sort of disability there? I mean, I'm not trying to say it was an ugly baby. It just didn't look exactly normal to me. I suppose, though, being Sue's baby it can't be normal, even if it seems that way! I just mean, Sue's sister has a disability, and Sue could be a carrier or something, couldn't she? I suppose this will either prove true or false as the season continues.
One last thing...the new cheerio captain is getting on my nerves. Sure, Quinn and Santana were annoying, but this chick is literally a bitch. I do not like her one bit. How long do you think she has before she's part of Glee? I wouldn't actually bet on it, but the way they do things, maybe by mid-season she'll at least sing in an episode.
Hey, Amy! You were SO right. They are definitely setting themselves up for a better story arc this year!!! Last year seems so BLAH when compared to just this first episode!
Now for the music. My favorite of the entire episode was New York State of Mind. It was actually what made me think Marley was definitely the new Rachel. Duh. Anyways, it's a song I'd never heard, but I rather enjoyed it!
Call Me Maybe? Cliche. I expected Glee to do it. I'm glad it's out of the way early in the season. It leaves room for better songs later, and it was actually a good use of the song. I'm not sure there would have been a natural way of putting it into the episodes otherwise.
Chasing Pavements. LOVED it. I didn't know the song before that. I like the song, but once I discovered Adele sings it I was a bit disappointed. She's obnoxious and overplayed. However, Marley probably sang the song way better than Adele could've anyways.
What's the song Blaine sang to Kurt in the quad? I liked that one, too!
Jake's audition song-I've always loved the Fray. Never Say Never is a good song, too. Good choice for Jake! =)
All in all, this episode had good music!
I hope I haven't bored you with my blabbing about Glee. I just needed to put these thoughts down. I have no intentions of posting about every episode, but I did enjoy writing this blog today! Who knows.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Quick thought
"The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet" - Frederick Buechner
Saturday, September 1, 2012
*sigh*
I have been watching Pride & Prejudice (abbreviated P&P for the remainder of the post) over and over. Like, seriously over and over. It started the other night when I realized I had no internet until further notice (which has now been semi-resolved...more on that later).
I watched the 2005 P&P on Tuesday night when I was trying to wind down and get to sleep. I absolutely love P&P, and every time I feel all ooey-gooey after watching it. I don't know what it is about Mr. Darcy, but I just can't help watching time after time! I didn't think much of it, because I tend to watch it on occasion.
However, just two days later, I watched it again! I don't know why. I think it might have been laziness, honestly, because I didn't want to go dig through all my movies to find something to watch. Every time I watch P&P, I see new little details and see more subtle nuances in the film. I think I've finally started to see most (I'd say all, but then if I find a new one I'd be mad that I said all!) of the subtle nuances and little details between Elizabeth and Darcy, but Thursday I caught a new one from Mr. Bennett. I can't remember which scene, but it's at a point in the movie when Lydia comes to Mrs. Bennett and says, "Mamma, you'll never believe what I'm going to tell you!" or something of the sort. Before Mrs. Bennett responds, almost under his breath/behind the scene, Mr. Bennett says, "She's going to take the veil." I could not help but laugh at that! It's so funny, and totally opposite of Lydia's character. Of course, I'm sure you knew that. At least those of you that are familiar with P&P knew that. The 2005 version just has all these little humorous details that make me want to watch it repetitively.
So, then the next day I decided I'd change it up a bit and watch the long (5 hours and 23 minutes!) version of P&P from 1995. Yep, the one with Colin Firth! It's so different from the 2005 version. I used to think I preferred Matthew Macfadyen as Darcy. Oh, no! I do not think that anymore! I think I was used the Macfadyen's portrayal, but Firth "does the job credibly". HA. I think the 1995 version shows Darcy's feelings for Lizzie more clearly.
Here's the ridiculous part: I went to Barnes & Noble today with my mom and my sister. I wasn't looking for anything, I just went along for the enjoyment of the bookstore. I love them. Anyways, I was browsing through the "Fiction & Literature" section, and I kept finding books relating to P&P. "Mr. Darcy" this, and "Jane Austen" that. Really? Do people actually read those? It's fanfiction! I hate fanfiction. It ruins stories. Ugh. Anyways, I seriously have P&P on the mind this week. It's my own doing, but it's true. Even listening to a CD on the way home I told my sister that it was a song that Darcy could've sung to Lizzie. *sigh* It's a problem, I think.
Do you ever have this "problem", where you're constantly thinking of a book or a movie?
I watched the 2005 P&P on Tuesday night when I was trying to wind down and get to sleep. I absolutely love P&P, and every time I feel all ooey-gooey after watching it. I don't know what it is about Mr. Darcy, but I just can't help watching time after time! I didn't think much of it, because I tend to watch it on occasion.
However, just two days later, I watched it again! I don't know why. I think it might have been laziness, honestly, because I didn't want to go dig through all my movies to find something to watch. Every time I watch P&P, I see new little details and see more subtle nuances in the film. I think I've finally started to see most (I'd say all, but then if I find a new one I'd be mad that I said all!) of the subtle nuances and little details between Elizabeth and Darcy, but Thursday I caught a new one from Mr. Bennett. I can't remember which scene, but it's at a point in the movie when Lydia comes to Mrs. Bennett and says, "Mamma, you'll never believe what I'm going to tell you!" or something of the sort. Before Mrs. Bennett responds, almost under his breath/behind the scene, Mr. Bennett says, "She's going to take the veil." I could not help but laugh at that! It's so funny, and totally opposite of Lydia's character. Of course, I'm sure you knew that. At least those of you that are familiar with P&P knew that. The 2005 version just has all these little humorous details that make me want to watch it repetitively.
So, then the next day I decided I'd change it up a bit and watch the long (5 hours and 23 minutes!) version of P&P from 1995. Yep, the one with Colin Firth! It's so different from the 2005 version. I used to think I preferred Matthew Macfadyen as Darcy. Oh, no! I do not think that anymore! I think I was used the Macfadyen's portrayal, but Firth "does the job credibly". HA. I think the 1995 version shows Darcy's feelings for Lizzie more clearly.
Here's the ridiculous part: I went to Barnes & Noble today with my mom and my sister. I wasn't looking for anything, I just went along for the enjoyment of the bookstore. I love them. Anyways, I was browsing through the "Fiction & Literature" section, and I kept finding books relating to P&P. "Mr. Darcy" this, and "Jane Austen" that. Really? Do people actually read those? It's fanfiction! I hate fanfiction. It ruins stories. Ugh. Anyways, I seriously have P&P on the mind this week. It's my own doing, but it's true. Even listening to a CD on the way home I told my sister that it was a song that Darcy could've sung to Lizzie. *sigh* It's a problem, I think.
Do you ever have this "problem", where you're constantly thinking of a book or a movie?
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Amazing Vacation
I am planning a very long, very detailed post about my FABULOUS vacation to Florida (re: Disney World and Wizarding World of Harry Potter). It's coming. I promise.
Friday, July 6, 2012
"The Adult Vortex"
So, where do adults go to meet other adults? What I mean is, if I want to diversify my group of friends, where do I find people who I'd actually want to be friends with? I currently work at a school where the majority of the staff is much older than I am. There are maybe 2 other staff members under the age of 35. I am not currently involved in a small group/young adults group at church, because the churches I've been attending over the last two years have not had these sorts of groups. For the summer I'm working with more people my age-ish, but there are still quite a few that are a good chunk younger than I am, and only one or two that are about my age. So...where do I meet people?
My mom calls this the "adult vortex". m-w.com says:
"Definition of VORTEX
My mom calls this the "adult vortex". m-w.com says:
"Definition of VORTEX
1
: something that resembles a whirlpool vortex of battle — Time>
2
a :
a mass of fluid (as a liquid) with a whirling or circular motion that
tends to form a cavity or vacuum in the center of the circle and to draw
toward this cavity or vacuum bodies subject to its action; especially : whirlpool, eddy b : a region within a body of fluid in which the fluid elements have an angular velocity"
I'm not sure if that definition actually relates, but that's ok. I think her point is that I am not alone in this issue. So, anyone out there have any suggestions? I hate being so far away from my good friends in California and having so few friends here in Oregon. I feel like my social life is lacking, and I am not motivated to get out and do things like I might be in California.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
It's Over
My little babies graduated. Preschool graduation was on Wednesday. It's weird, but as relieved as I am, I'm also sad. I'm going to miss it. Of course, I jump into practically the same thing on this upcoming Wednesday-at the YMCA. I'll still see most of my kiddos in the fall, too, because they're all going to be in music with me! =)
BTW, for anyone out there who went to EDHS with me, one of my students' parents is close friends with Miss Petitt. She and this parent went to high school together and then this parent moved to Oregon, got married, and had kids. Small world, right?
BTW, for anyone out there who went to EDHS with me, one of my students' parents is close friends with Miss Petitt. She and this parent went to high school together and then this parent moved to Oregon, got married, and had kids. Small world, right?
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Welcome to June...
So, it's June now. How did that happen?
Anyways, I was filling out my lesson plans for the next week and a half (yes, literally, that's ALL that I have left with Preschool!). It's like...I don't have any time with them left. Even though the last 2 days have been extremely difficult (kids not listening to instructions, yelling, screaming, crying for no apparent reason...), it's going to be sad at the end of the year. At least most of them will still be my students next year! I'll just be their music teacher instead! =)
Speaking of that...the information about teacher changes went out in the school newsletter this week. That means people are aware that I'll be teaching music and health next year, which means people will be coming and talking to me about it-ALL THE TIME. I'm ok with that, I suppose, but I'm just not exactly sure how I feel about it. Are they excited? Are they unhappy? Are they unsure? I'm kind of excited, unsure, and nervous. So, if I feel that way, wouldn't they be feeling that way, too?
Ugh. I guess what I'm nervous about is that now that all of this has gone public, are people going to feel free to talk openly about how "awful" music was this year? Or how they didn't think the concert was very good? I mean, the current music teacher will still be around until June 15. I sure hope that means that people will keep their mouths shut about it until then.
I guess what I'm MOST nervous about, if I allow myself to really consider it, is the current music teacher's reaction. Is she going to be upset with me, even though I didn't have anything to do with her not being there next year? Sure, I'll be teaching what she's currently teaching, but I didn't take it from her. It was given to me once they decided she wouldn't be there next year. So...I guess I'm afraid she'll take her emotions out on me. Let's hope she doesn't.
Um...yup. That's it for now. I have other things that I want to share, but I guess I should wait until I really have something to share, not just a kind of something.
Anyways, I was filling out my lesson plans for the next week and a half (yes, literally, that's ALL that I have left with Preschool!). It's like...I don't have any time with them left. Even though the last 2 days have been extremely difficult (kids not listening to instructions, yelling, screaming, crying for no apparent reason...), it's going to be sad at the end of the year. At least most of them will still be my students next year! I'll just be their music teacher instead! =)
Speaking of that...the information about teacher changes went out in the school newsletter this week. That means people are aware that I'll be teaching music and health next year, which means people will be coming and talking to me about it-ALL THE TIME. I'm ok with that, I suppose, but I'm just not exactly sure how I feel about it. Are they excited? Are they unhappy? Are they unsure? I'm kind of excited, unsure, and nervous. So, if I feel that way, wouldn't they be feeling that way, too?
Ugh. I guess what I'm nervous about is that now that all of this has gone public, are people going to feel free to talk openly about how "awful" music was this year? Or how they didn't think the concert was very good? I mean, the current music teacher will still be around until June 15. I sure hope that means that people will keep their mouths shut about it until then.
I guess what I'm MOST nervous about, if I allow myself to really consider it, is the current music teacher's reaction. Is she going to be upset with me, even though I didn't have anything to do with her not being there next year? Sure, I'll be teaching what she's currently teaching, but I didn't take it from her. It was given to me once they decided she wouldn't be there next year. So...I guess I'm afraid she'll take her emotions out on me. Let's hope she doesn't.
Um...yup. That's it for now. I have other things that I want to share, but I guess I should wait until I really have something to share, not just a kind of something.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Today's walk
So, this evening I was feeling a little down on myself and frustrated. Then I thought, "Hmm...I haven't exercised in a while. Maybe I should walk around the block." So, five minutes later, I had donned my tennis shoes, grabbed my ipod, and got my coat out of the car. Initially, I just set out to walk around the block. Then, all of a sudden I had this rush of high expectations for myself and decided I wanted to walk around the block 4 times. I've done twice before, but I figured since I hadn't walked, or really exercised at all, lately that I should give it a go.
Well, reality set in on the second lap when it started getting dark. I came to the realization that I didn't really NEED to go around the block four times. I decided, I'll just walk around the block as many times as I can before dark. Then the raindrops started. I LOVE walking in the rain, but the fact that it was raining was a little disconcerting, especially since I had looked at the weather report earlier on weather.com and they said that there was a thunderstorm that had gone through Portland and could shift over Oregon City. With said thunderstorm, there were reports of penny-sized hail. I wasn't so sure that I wanted to walk around the block in the hail. So, then I decided I'd go until it was too dark to see, or it started hailing.
Surprisingly, there was no hail! I was glad, but my glasses started fogging up on my third trip around the block. Ugh. I could've possibly gone around a fourth time, but when the glasses fog up, it gets a little hard to see. Not to mention that the raindrops were starting to gather on my glasses as well.
Anyways, I went around 3 times. Not too bad. Especially when I checked the distance on google maps and see that one time around the block is 0.8 miles. That means I walked about 2.4 miles this evening! I think I'll make it a goal to walk around the block at least once a day. The more laps I put in, the better, but no pressure to do a certain number.
In addition to my walking, I think I found a new way to push myself to keep up the pace. While I was walking, I was listening to my playlist that I so eloquently named "Yup". It's just a mishmosh of songs I like. No genre, no specific reason or common thread, other than the fact that I like them. So, as I started my walk, I was just ambling on at a leisurely pace. Of course, that changed as soon as the song "Groove is in the Heart" by Deee Lite came on. That's the song we performed our Drum Major routines to for the USA All-Star trip to London my Junior Year of High School. Anyways, I really like that song, just because it has a good beat and makes me want to dance-which I couldn't help doing as I was walking. I'm sure I looked like a complete fool to any casual observer. Ha. I don't know that I care.
As I was dance-walking, I noticed that I was walking in step with the song. So, I forced myself to continue doing that until the song was over. The next song that came on was "Everybody Dance Now" by C & C Music Factory. Again, it had a nice beat, so I kept walking in step with it. Soon, I had walked or jogged in step to multiple songs, and had kept up a decent pace as I walked. I skipped songs that were too slow and songs that were way too fast to walk in step to. It was fun-almost a game. I think if I were to continue doing this, I wouldn't mind walking so much. We'll see if it keeps walking fun.
I'm planning to put together a special playlist for my walks, so that I have songs that have relatively quick tempos in it to push me a bit faster on my walks. I suppose it's always an option to skip the walking in step part, but I enjoyed it tonight, and I actually found I did it on instinct. =)
If you want to contribute song ideas, I'd be totally open to it! Just post them in the comments. That is...if anyone is actually reading.
Well, reality set in on the second lap when it started getting dark. I came to the realization that I didn't really NEED to go around the block four times. I decided, I'll just walk around the block as many times as I can before dark. Then the raindrops started. I LOVE walking in the rain, but the fact that it was raining was a little disconcerting, especially since I had looked at the weather report earlier on weather.com and they said that there was a thunderstorm that had gone through Portland and could shift over Oregon City. With said thunderstorm, there were reports of penny-sized hail. I wasn't so sure that I wanted to walk around the block in the hail. So, then I decided I'd go until it was too dark to see, or it started hailing.
Surprisingly, there was no hail! I was glad, but my glasses started fogging up on my third trip around the block. Ugh. I could've possibly gone around a fourth time, but when the glasses fog up, it gets a little hard to see. Not to mention that the raindrops were starting to gather on my glasses as well.
Anyways, I went around 3 times. Not too bad. Especially when I checked the distance on google maps and see that one time around the block is 0.8 miles. That means I walked about 2.4 miles this evening! I think I'll make it a goal to walk around the block at least once a day. The more laps I put in, the better, but no pressure to do a certain number.
In addition to my walking, I think I found a new way to push myself to keep up the pace. While I was walking, I was listening to my playlist that I so eloquently named "Yup". It's just a mishmosh of songs I like. No genre, no specific reason or common thread, other than the fact that I like them. So, as I started my walk, I was just ambling on at a leisurely pace. Of course, that changed as soon as the song "Groove is in the Heart" by Deee Lite came on. That's the song we performed our Drum Major routines to for the USA All-Star trip to London my Junior Year of High School. Anyways, I really like that song, just because it has a good beat and makes me want to dance-which I couldn't help doing as I was walking. I'm sure I looked like a complete fool to any casual observer. Ha. I don't know that I care.
As I was dance-walking, I noticed that I was walking in step with the song. So, I forced myself to continue doing that until the song was over. The next song that came on was "Everybody Dance Now" by C & C Music Factory. Again, it had a nice beat, so I kept walking in step with it. Soon, I had walked or jogged in step to multiple songs, and had kept up a decent pace as I walked. I skipped songs that were too slow and songs that were way too fast to walk in step to. It was fun-almost a game. I think if I were to continue doing this, I wouldn't mind walking so much. We'll see if it keeps walking fun.
I'm planning to put together a special playlist for my walks, so that I have songs that have relatively quick tempos in it to push me a bit faster on my walks. I suppose it's always an option to skip the walking in step part, but I enjoyed it tonight, and I actually found I did it on instinct. =)
If you want to contribute song ideas, I'd be totally open to it! Just post them in the comments. That is...if anyone is actually reading.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Makeup
I am 24 years old. I just started wearing makeup on any sort of consistent basis a little over a year ago. I didn't care about it in Jr. High, and in High School I only really wore makeup for dances or other special sorts of occasions. Let's be honest-I didn't care a whole lot about my appearance in general at that point. I was in Marching Band, and during competitions makeup wasn't allowed. I probably used that as an excuse to a certain extent, even with myself, because it would mess up my "routine" to do makeup some days but not others. I didn't have any kind of routine, so I can honestly say that was a bunch of bull shit.
However, I vividly remember girls complaining in Marching Band about how "ugly" they looked for competitions, or on trips for church (Mexicali, Quaker Meadow, Mammoth) when girls would complain about people seeing them before they had "beautified" themselves. At that point, I thought they were ridiculous. I thought they were vain, and to a certain extent they probably were, but I kind of get it now.
Tonight, for the first time, I looked closely at my face before I cleaned off the makeup. Again, after I removed the makeup, I looked closely again. It is starting to make more sense to me why these girls felt that way. I am so used to seeing my "made-up" face, that it's hard for me to like looking at my plain, albeit God-given, face.
I wear makeup to make myself look and feel more professional, because as a 24-year-old teacher, I'm still young. The kids are aware that I'm young (well, maybe not the Preschoolers, but the 6th graders do!). They ask me questions about pop culture and expect me to know what they're talking about and react positively. They expect my age to mean I'm hip. Is that even a word anymore? Whatever. I use makeup as a differentiating tool. I am not their peer. They need to know that, and I need to know that. For me, makeup is about making myself presentable as an adult teacher.
Yes, of course, it has become a habit. I do wear makeup on the weekends, too. I'm not saying that there isn't even a hint of vanity in my reasons for wearing makeup. That's there, too. But primarily, I wear makeup because I was told to do so in one of my classes. A professor (or visiting speaker?) told the girls in my class that wearing makeup (and doing it properly) would help set us apart from our students. Sure, she probably meant High Schoolers. I still think it's valuable.
Anyways, what do you guys think? Is make up pointless? Is it totally worthwhile? Do you use it? What are your reasons for using it, or not using it? Do you feel different when you wear it? Do you feel different about yourself when you wear it? Or when you take it off?
Just some thoughts. And, to finish it off...
Girls, you are beautiful the way God made you. You don't need makeup. Wear it only if you choose to for your own reasons, not because our society tells you it's important-it's not! You are! =)
However, I vividly remember girls complaining in Marching Band about how "ugly" they looked for competitions, or on trips for church (Mexicali, Quaker Meadow, Mammoth) when girls would complain about people seeing them before they had "beautified" themselves. At that point, I thought they were ridiculous. I thought they were vain, and to a certain extent they probably were, but I kind of get it now.
Tonight, for the first time, I looked closely at my face before I cleaned off the makeup. Again, after I removed the makeup, I looked closely again. It is starting to make more sense to me why these girls felt that way. I am so used to seeing my "made-up" face, that it's hard for me to like looking at my plain, albeit God-given, face.
I wear makeup to make myself look and feel more professional, because as a 24-year-old teacher, I'm still young. The kids are aware that I'm young (well, maybe not the Preschoolers, but the 6th graders do!). They ask me questions about pop culture and expect me to know what they're talking about and react positively. They expect my age to mean I'm hip. Is that even a word anymore? Whatever. I use makeup as a differentiating tool. I am not their peer. They need to know that, and I need to know that. For me, makeup is about making myself presentable as an adult teacher.
Yes, of course, it has become a habit. I do wear makeup on the weekends, too. I'm not saying that there isn't even a hint of vanity in my reasons for wearing makeup. That's there, too. But primarily, I wear makeup because I was told to do so in one of my classes. A professor (or visiting speaker?) told the girls in my class that wearing makeup (and doing it properly) would help set us apart from our students. Sure, she probably meant High Schoolers. I still think it's valuable.
Anyways, what do you guys think? Is make up pointless? Is it totally worthwhile? Do you use it? What are your reasons for using it, or not using it? Do you feel different when you wear it? Do you feel different about yourself when you wear it? Or when you take it off?
Just some thoughts. And, to finish it off...
Girls, you are beautiful the way God made you. You don't need makeup. Wear it only if you choose to for your own reasons, not because our society tells you it's important-it's not! You are! =)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Can't sleep
I can't sleep. Does exercise have that effect on you? I don't really know.
I did half of the 100 workout that I found on pinterest. I mean, I guess I'd call it a 50 workout, lol.
I did 50 jumping jacks, 45 crunches, 40 squats, 35 leg lifts, 30 more jumping jacks, 25 more crunches, 20 more squats, 15 more leg lifts, 10 more jumping jacks, and then I walked about .8 miles. =)
Owwie. I'm sure it'll feel worse tomorrow.
I hate exercising, but it kinda feels good knowing I did it just for me. =)
I did half of the 100 workout that I found on pinterest. I mean, I guess I'd call it a 50 workout, lol.
I did 50 jumping jacks, 45 crunches, 40 squats, 35 leg lifts, 30 more jumping jacks, 25 more crunches, 20 more squats, 15 more leg lifts, 10 more jumping jacks, and then I walked about .8 miles. =)
Owwie. I'm sure it'll feel worse tomorrow.
I hate exercising, but it kinda feels good knowing I did it just for me. =)
Sunday, April 1, 2012
94
being to timelessness as it's to time,
love did no more begin than love will end;
where nothing is to breathe to stroll to swim
love is the air the ocean and the land
(do lovers suffer? all divinities
proudly descending put on deathful flesh:
are lovers glad? only their smallest joy's
a universe emerging from a wish)
love is the voice under all silences,
the hope which has no opposite in fear;
the strength so strong mere force is feebleness:
the truth more first than sun more last than star
-do lovers love? why then to heaven with hell.
Whatever sages say and fools, all's well
e. e. cummings
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Enigma
Enigma [uh-nig-ma]
noun
1. A puzzling or inexplicable occurrence or situation.
2. A person of puzzling or contradictory character.
3. A saying, question, picture, etc. containing a hidden meaning; riddle.
4. (initial capital letter) A German-built enciphering machine developed for commercial use in the early 1920s and later adapted and appropriated by German and other Axis powers for military use through World War II.
The first three definitions are close. This situation and this person definitely feel like a riddle to me. How am I supposed to take all these things? Am I just meant to think there's no major implications for any of this? Or am I to read into things and come out with some secret, intended meaning? The problem I find is that I end up doing both. I overanalyze the whole thing to death and then I walk away thinking it was all a game with the purpose of making my head spin. Well, if that was the end goal, success has been achieved. There almost has to be some greater meaning in all of this...but what if I'm wrong? I've never wanted something so much or been so afraid to venture out in search of an answer. If my hopes are reality, then the leap is entirely worth it. However, if I jump and am wrong, then I'm risking even the ground falling out from under me. It's an extremely long drop if the ground isn't there to stop you.
While I try to convince myself to ignore this predicament, I push myself to look elsewhere. But does it work? Of course not! If I ever thought it truly would, I was kidding myself. Every alternative doesn't match up with the original. I find myself comparing the new options with the primary option-subconsciously, most of the time. What amazes me is that I genuinely had myself fooled for a little while there. I thought I'd moved past all this confusion and had gone on to other opportunities. A dream I had a few nights ago shed just enough light on all of this for me to realize how poor these substitutes are for the real thing.
I'm not being fair to myself, though. I need some answers, and I think I need them sooner than I've been admitting to myself. How to get them, though, is the question. Do I close my eyes, and just allow myself to ask? What happens if I don't get the expected-no, desired-responses? Am I really willing to let myself go through a freefall? Can I wait a little while and allow the questions to simmer, while I hope and pray that the answers expose themselves without my asking?
Oh, boy. I'm in deeper than I thought.
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