Sunday, September 30, 2012

Quieting myself

So, Quakers don't take physical communion.  Instead, we commune with God by quieting ourselves and listening to His Spirit.  I don't remember this happening very much growing up.  Rose Drive Friends Church (hereafter referred to as RDFC) did this, but it was about 1 minute long.  RDFC was the first church I attended growing up where I remember this quiet time happening at all.  I remember 1 minute of silence being absolutely excruciating!

Well, since I've moved to the Pacific Northwest, I've had the opportunity to attend a few more Friends (Quaker) churches.  2nd street, while linked to the Friends church, did not wholly embrace all the Quaker-isms.  I actually can't remember if they did the silent times, or if they did how long they were.  Newberg Friends, on the other hand, took it to a new level for me.  Not only did they have the quiet times, but they had long periods of their services set aside for silent times.  During these silent times, however, not only were you supposed to quiet yourself and listen to God's Spirit, but if you felt the Spirit's leading, you could stand and share whatever you were lead to share with the congregation.  Reedwood Friends had a similar time in their services.  I know there were other Friends churches in the area that had entire services that were "Unprogrammed", or entirely purposed for these silent times and sharing as the Spirit led.

Well, I feel it is not completely necessary for me to say that I struggle with quieting myself.  Anyone who knows me beyond simply being acquaintances probably is aware that I am not someone who can sit still and be quiet for that long.  However, that is all the outward quietness anyways!  As Quakers, we are encouraged to quiet our inner selves.  I know no one can fully understand how hard this is for me, because you've never been inside my brain.  I'm sure some of you struggle with similar things, but let me tell you...I am CONSTANTLY thinking.  It is hard for me to clear my head before bed, let alone as I sit in the pew in church on Sunday morning.  Now, I'm not saying that I spend these quiet times thinking about what I'm going to eat for lunch, or who I want to call/text and see if they are free to hang out.  No, it's not exactly that.  It's just random thoughts that I can't turn off.

For example: Today, I went to a new church.  It's not a Friends/Quaker church, because there aren't any Friends/Quaker churches in Oregon City.  I don't particularly want to leave my immediate community for church, so I did some research and found a church I thought I'd be willing to attend.  I figured I'd at least try it, anyways.  Well, first of all, when the pastor said we were going to have silent prayer time, I prepped myself for a few minutes of silence.  Oh, no.  The organ kept playing.  There was my first problem.  Music?  I'm totally not going to be focused on prayer now!  However, I tried, despite the fact that I knew before I started that it was a losing battle.  Well, I prayed for about...10 seconds, before my brain started thinking about my lesson plans for the week, and how certain students were doing, and which students I'd need to check in with and see if they needed help, and OH!  I wonder what my coworker does with that student in his/her classroom.  Oh, boy.  Maybe I should've focused my prayers toward school.  Mind you, each of these thoughts took up no more than 3 seconds each.  This is practically my stream of consciousness as it happened.  Well, that was pretty much all I had time for!  The silent prayer time was probably about a minute or just over!  It's weird going back to short silent prayers after sitting for more than 20 minutes at some churches.

I'm going to make it a goal of mine to work on quieting myself.  I try to do it during Mass at school.  I can't take communion in Mass, since I'm not a confirmed Catholic.  Quakers don't usually do communion anyways, though I do partake sometimes (depending on where I am and the requirements/pressure).  Instead, during Mass, after I get back and have knelt down, I do my best to quiet myself and commune with God.  It's hard, especially since there's music, children all around me, and people moving through the aisles as they take communion.  I try to focus on quieting myself for a minute or so, though, because it's the only communion with God I can have in a Catholic Mass.

I suppose I'd better start quieting myself at other times of the day/week, too.

I have this problem at night, sometimes.  I read in bed-it's my means of winding down so I can get to sleep.  Well, I often read until my eyelids are too heavy to keep open.  Sometimes, though, as soon as I turn off my reading light, my brain starts going a mile a minute and I can't get to sleep.  Ugh.  Quieting myself is just so hard!

Anyone else have trouble with this?  Whether in church or bed...haha!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Fall has arrived!

Okay, so I LOVE fall.  The school year has started, the weather is cooling down, there's a smell in the air I just can't describe, and it's just a happy time of year.  Oh, and did I mention apples?!  I love apples.

Fall is possibly my favorite season, even though I enjoy all 4 seasons for various reasons.  Fall reminds me each year of my childhood excitement going back to school, doing Halloween activities at school/church (i.e. Harvest Festival or Pumpkin Party), Thanksgiving and gathering with family! It's the perfect middle ground between the scorching heat of summer and the bitter cold of winter.

One thing I miss about California is the dry weather in fall.  Yes, there was always that one week when it poured in mid-to-late October, but the rest of fall in California was typically dry.  Oregon fall?  Not so much.  It's usually wet, wet, and did I mention wet?  Well, this year has been a fabulous back to school treat!  We have had almost no rain the entire month of September, and coming into the first week of October, the forecast looks dry, too!  I cannot say clearly enough how absolutely ecstatic about this I am. 

I know my students are loving the weather, too, because they all DREAD inside recess days.  Little do they know that the teachers aren't thrilled about it either.  Especially during the first lunch recess.  When there are 4 classes crammed into the gym, the teachers cringe and pray for time to move faster.  Well, I do anyways.  There is absolutely nothing like 70+ children running, screaming, throwing bouncy balls, and hiding behind bleachers to make your ears bleed and your stomach churn.  Okay, maybe it's not quite that bad.  I will say, though, that it's pretty terrible to have that many children between 4 and 8 in the gym all at once.  That's just a little too much for my liking midday.  :)

So, needless to say, dry weather in the fall is a rare commodity in Oregon, and I am pleased that we are able to enjoy it!  I hope, though, that it doesn't push our winter weather back too far.  Last year, we had a snow day the day before spring break started.  That was bizarre, unexpected, and a little ridiculous.  I would like to avoid that in 2013.  Of course, that's assuming the Mayan calendar's end doesn't mean the end of the world, too.  Not that I believe any of that.  It's just one of those things people mention because everyone knows that someone out there does actually believe that.

Another thing I love about fall is that I can actually start wearing long sleeves!  I like my long sleeve shirts, but I have to store them most of the year.  It's not quite cool enough yet this year for me to pull them all out and start wearing them in my daily wardrobe, but I've worn a couple in attempt to get the fall routine started.  My classroom this year is a sauna, though.  That's without students in it, too.  Add 31 more bodies to an already HOT room, and believe me, you're wishing you were wearing a robe, slippers, and nothing else.  That would be in the steam filled (NOT student filled) room, of course.  No, I don't wear a robe and slippers in my classroom.  That would not go over well with anyone, especially me!

Apples!!!  I tend to eat an apple every day at lunch.  Well, at least weekdays.  My weekend routine is not quite the same.  Oh, well.  I love apples, but I do have favorites.  Not all apples are created equal.  Most people know that Red Delicious apples are kind of boring.  They have a wonderful red color, but the apples themselves are not so tasty.  Galas, Fujis, Braeburns, etc. are better tasting, but not overly flavorful (in my opinion).  Granny Smiths are super tart, and that's great when you're in the right mood.  Jazz apples are my favorites for pies.  I think they have just enough tart and just enough sweet to make the pies just that much more enjoyable to eat.   Now, if I'm going to eat the apple raw and as it is, I'm going to look for something with a good strong flavor.  The apples I tend to gravitate to for that are Pink Lady and Honeycrisp.  These two apples are distinct from each other in color, flavor, and often size.  Pink Lady apples are a bit smaller, they are a pinky-red color, and they have a sharper tart hint to their flavor.  They still have some sweetness to them, but the tartness comes through as well.  Honeycrisps are often larger (in my experience), yellow/green/red variations, and are sweet.  I don't exactly know why the word "honey" is in the name.  I don't taste honey when I eat a honeycrisp.  They are, however, incredibly delicious.  They are probably my #1 favorite apple.  I haven't tried baking with them yet, because I always eat them before I get the chance.  I don't know if the flavors would be as strong after baking, but maybe I will buy a few intentionally to bake into a pie or cobbler.

Pumpkin is also wonderful to bake with.  I like pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cookies, etc.  The thing about pumpkin, though, is that I like to wait until at least mid-October to start using or eating it.  I haven't even indulged in a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks yet!  In a couple weeks, I'll cave.  It's just not time yet!

Did I mention that I love fall?  What are some of your favorite fall things?

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Glee Season 4!

Ok, so I am behind a little bit.  I admit it.  During the week, I'm a hermit who goes to bed super early.  Yep.  Oh, well.


So, where to begin?  I guess first of all, as soon as Britney, Tina, Blaine, and Wade/Unique started the whole "New Rachel" battle, I knew it wouldn't be any of them.  I knew that there had to be someone new that would show up before the end of the episode.  Was I right?  Of course.  Glee's fairly predictable.  Marley is definitely the new Rachel.

As for Rachel herself-I am pretty damn sure that she's going to have issues with that dance teacher of hers.  I wouldn't be surprised if she became a favorite student in the class only to find out some tragic story about her teacher that then haunts her through the season.  I'm not sure exactly what they're trying to set up, but something's in the works.  I have no doubts, though, that Rachel will work herself too hard in attempts to impress Kate Hudson's character.  Do we even know her name yet? 

I teared up when Kurt's dad started crying.  Maybe I'm too emotional, but that was definitely an emotional scene!  I'm glad Kurt's in NY.  I was super frustrated early in the episode that he was being the high school cling-on.  I always had a hard time with people who came back too often after graduating when I was still in high school.  I tried not to be that kind of a person, though looking back I may have been.  I think there's a sense when you graduate that you want to hang on to who you were and what you accomplished in high school, that you just lose the honest sense of how much you're clinging to the past.  Anyways, I'm glad Blaine pushed Kurt to leave Lima.  He needed out-the barista gig was not working for him.

Jake.  Jake, Jake, Jake.  I didn't see it coming, but I am not surprised by his behavior that he is Puck's brother.  He's got the whole smoldering good looks/smoldering anger thing going, which I think has to be a part of every high school-set show.  I've watched too many with these types of characters to think otherwise.  He's got a great voice, and I think he'll fight his desire to be in Glee for a while, but eventually give in.  He wants it bad.  We can see that in his face when he watched their rehearsal at the end of the episode.  He doesn't want to be someone's charity case, though.  Schuester is right, though-Glee did WONDERS for Puck, and I think it would for Jake, too.  I am really looking forward to hearing more of Jake's story, too!  Why doesn't Puck know about him?

Marley.  Yes, she may very well be the new Rachel.  I know that's my opinion.  Blaine can be the new Finn.  They'll need one of those, too.  However, Marley's got a little more interest in her character than simply being the new Rachel.  She's got enough going in her life to be wildly unpopular with her classmates.  It's obvious that no one seems to like her mom.  It's sad, because I guarantee you that they'll put some story in about why she's so overweight that will make it all make more sense.  You can tell that by Marley's reactions and her discussions with her mom.  Oh my goodness.  I have a feeling I'm going to love Marley's mom.  I kind of feel like I can relate a little bit-being overweight and all.  However, there's also this fighter instinct she has to make everything the best she can for her daughter.  I love that.  Marley's clothes don't look bad.  I hope she fully opens up to Glee about her clothes, her mom, and whatever the story is about her previous school. 

Brody.  I had to go look his name up, so don't feel weird about now remembering who he is.  I mean, maybe you listened better than I did when he introduced himself.  I may have still been in a state of shock after watching him step out of the shower in front of Rachel.  He is incredibly attractive, and he's obviously going to be a drama-inspiring character this season.  There's bound to be issues between Finn and Rachel due to this Brody character.  He seriously seems to be exactly what Rachel needs right now, though.  Encouragement and inspiration, plus the fact that he's been there himself.

I half expected Madam Tibideaux to give some sort of criticism to Rachel.  Maybe we'll see a little more of that later in the season.  She's got to push her in some way, or what's the point of all the drama at the end of last season?

Sue's baby, Robin. First of all, was it just me, or did the baby look like possibly there was some sort of disability there?  I mean, I'm not trying to say it was an ugly baby.  It just didn't look exactly normal to me.  I suppose, though, being Sue's baby it can't be normal, even if it seems that way!  I just mean, Sue's sister has a disability, and Sue could be a carrier or something, couldn't she?  I suppose this will either prove true or false as the season continues.

One last thing...the new cheerio captain is getting on my nerves.  Sure, Quinn and Santana were annoying, but this chick is literally a bitch.  I do not like her one bit.  How long do you think she has before she's part of Glee?  I wouldn't actually bet on it, but the way they do things, maybe by mid-season she'll at least sing in an episode.

Hey, Amy!  You were SO right.  They are definitely setting themselves up for a better story arc this year!!!  Last year seems so BLAH when compared to just this first episode!


Now for the music.  My favorite of the entire episode was New York State of Mind.  It was actually what made me think Marley was definitely the new Rachel.  Duh.  Anyways, it's a song I'd never heard, but I rather enjoyed it!
Call Me Maybe?  Cliche.  I expected Glee to do it.  I'm glad it's out of the way early in the season.  It leaves room for better songs later, and it was actually a good use of the song.  I'm not sure there would have been a natural way of putting it into the episodes otherwise.
Chasing Pavements.  LOVED it.  I didn't know the song before that.  I like the song, but once I discovered Adele sings it I was a bit disappointed.  She's obnoxious and overplayed.  However, Marley probably sang the song way better than Adele could've anyways.
What's the song Blaine sang to Kurt in the quad?  I liked that one, too!
Jake's audition song-I've always loved the Fray.  Never Say Never is a good song, too.  Good choice for Jake! =)
All in all, this episode had good music!

I hope I haven't bored you with my blabbing about Glee.  I just needed to put these thoughts down.  I have no intentions of posting about every episode, but I did enjoy writing this blog today!  Who knows.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Quick thought

"The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet" - Frederick Buechner

Saturday, September 1, 2012

*sigh*

I have been watching Pride & Prejudice (abbreviated P&P for the remainder of the post) over and over.  Like, seriously over and over.  It started the other night when I realized I had no internet until further notice (which has now been semi-resolved...more on that later).

I watched the 2005 P&P on Tuesday night when I was trying to wind down and get to sleep.  I absolutely love P&P, and every time I feel all ooey-gooey after watching it.  I don't know what it is about Mr. Darcy, but I just can't help watching time after time!  I didn't think much of it, because I tend to watch it on occasion.

However, just two days later, I watched it again!  I don't know why.  I think it might have been laziness, honestly, because I didn't want to go dig through all my movies to find something to watch.  Every time I watch P&P, I see new little details and see more subtle nuances in the film.  I think I've finally started to see most (I'd say all, but then if I find a new one I'd be mad that I said all!) of the subtle nuances and little details between Elizabeth and Darcy, but Thursday I caught a new one from Mr. Bennett.  I can't remember which scene, but it's at a point in the movie when Lydia comes to Mrs. Bennett and says, "Mamma, you'll never believe what I'm going to tell you!" or something of the sort.  Before Mrs. Bennett responds, almost under his breath/behind the scene, Mr. Bennett says, "She's going to take the veil."  I could not help but laugh at that!  It's so funny, and totally opposite of Lydia's character.  Of course, I'm sure you knew that.  At least those of you that are familiar with P&P knew that.  The 2005 version just has all these little humorous details that make me want to watch it repetitively.

So, then the next day I decided I'd change it up a bit and watch the long (5 hours and 23 minutes!) version of P&P from 1995.  Yep, the one with Colin Firth!  It's so different from the 2005 version.  I used to think I preferred Matthew Macfadyen as Darcy.  Oh, no!  I do not think that anymore!  I think I was used the Macfadyen's portrayal, but Firth "does the job credibly".  HA.  I think the 1995 version shows Darcy's feelings for Lizzie more clearly. 

Here's the ridiculous part: I went to Barnes & Noble today with my mom and my sister.  I wasn't looking for anything, I just went along for the enjoyment of the bookstore.  I love them.  Anyways, I was browsing through the "Fiction & Literature" section, and I kept finding books relating to P&P.  "Mr. Darcy" this, and "Jane Austen" that.  Really?  Do people actually read those?  It's fanfiction!  I hate fanfiction.  It ruins stories.  Ugh.  Anyways, I seriously have P&P on the mind this week.  It's my own doing, but it's true.  Even listening to a CD on the way home I told my sister that it was a song that Darcy could've sung to Lizzie.  *sigh*  It's a problem, I think.

Do you ever have this "problem", where you're constantly thinking of a book or a movie?