you say you don’t understand,
as if that means it can’t be so.
you’re confused by this.
it doesn’t compute with what you knew,
but that is exactly what I experienced.
what I knew to be true
no longer was accurate.
I had to dig in deeper
in order to discover myself.
it took time, processing,
patience you don’t have.
you want things to go back.
you wish you didn’t even know.
you’d rather pretend.
but to ignore this truth
invalidates who I am-
not just the information given,
but my actual being and inner self.
telling me to turn off part of who I am
is completely unacceptable.
your ignorance is showing.
the love you profess to have
is actually hidden behind fear.
you’re hurt I didn’t tell you
before announcing to the world,
but how could I tell you
something so very personal
if you can’t even say it out loud?
you’re not able to acknowledge me,
but you don’t want it to affect things.
I want to understand your thoughts,
but do you really think that me being me
and you not wanting to acknowledge it
wouldn’t have some effect on our friendship?
I love you, even with all your ignorance,
but I cannot, my friend, allow your fear
to hold me back from being authentically me.
being afraid of who I am means
my bisexuality has already changed things.
your erasure of who I am
has altered our relationship
beyond foreseeable repair.
I’ll miss you, my friend,
but I don’t know how to be your friend
when you can no longer be the kind of friend I need.
