Monday, June 24, 2013

Update on "the song"

So, tonight I wrote lyrics. I'm not sure about them yet. I mean, they work. I just don't know if I'm convinced they are right yet. You know what I mean?

Anyway, I have sent a recording off to a friend who I trust to give me honest feedback. Once I have that feedback and make any changes necessary, I will post it for you to hear and give more honest feedback! :)

I just thought you might want to know that progress is being made!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Revised Summer Reading List

Summer 2013 Reading List
1. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
2. All Saints by Liam Callanan
3. Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson
4. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
5. Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys
6. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
7. A Son Comes Home by Joseph Bentz
8. When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead
9. Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech
10. Dark Sons by Nikki Grimes
11. The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak
12. Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers
13. The Trumpet at Twisp by Doris Elaine Fell
14. Atonement by Ian McEwan
15. After All by Mary Tyler Moore
16. Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell
17. Cranford/Cousin Phillis by Elizabeth Gaskell
18. Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
19. The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks
20. Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin
21. Teaching with Love and Logic by Jim Fay & David Funk
22. Crazy Love by Francis Chan
23. Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
24. Sex God by Rob Bell
25. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
26. The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen

The Truth About Forever

Title: The Truth About Forever

Author: Sarah Dessen

Target Age Group: High School/Young Adult

My Rating: 4 out of 5

Summary: Macy plans out her "perfect" summer, filling in for her "perfect" boyfriend at the library while he's away at Brain Camp for the summer. She spends her days working at the library with girls who don't like her, and then spends her evenings ironing, studying from her SAT book, and other mundane tasks. Until one day she starts working for Delia and her catering business, where she meets Kristy, Monica, Wes, and Bert. They are totally unlike her in so many ways, but somehow the chaos is exactly what she needs. Throughout her summer, Macy deals with the grief she still holds onto about her father's death a year and a half previously, she struggles to figure out what she wants with her life-to be "perfect" or to be "good-enough-as-she-is". She finds beauty in places and experiences she never would have allowed herself to even imagine before. It's a huge learning experience, but I won't spoil it. :)

Review: Let me start by saying this-a friend of mine recommended this book to me. I am glad she did. I really enjoyed it. However, the reason I ended up reading it now is because it was in my school library (that I am now in charge of). In NO way, shape, or form should this book be in the library at a K-8 Catholic school. Needless to say, I will be removing it from the shelf and catalog system. I cannot believe it's been on the shelf for more than 3 years! Ugh. Anyway, it is a wonderful book. It was EXACTLY what I needed right now, and it's funny how Macy is confronted with all sorts of things that are unexpected that help her grow, when this book was totally unexpected for me! It's full of raw emotion, openness, and learning to be truthful in every way. It deals with so many different relationship types: mother-daughter, sisters, friends, girlfriend-boyfriend, girl-boy who are not sure what they are, etc. It's just a good read. Now, I will tell you...there are some drug and alcohol references and language (my reasons for not allowing it to stay on the library shelf). For those who aren't comfortable with language, don't read it. There are multiple swear words used, and for your sake I will give only the first letter, even though I feel ridiculous doing so. The s-word, the d-word, and the f-word are each used multiple times. I'd definitely recommend this to older high schoolers (if I thought they could handle the certain aspects...) and adults. Since those of you that read this are all adults, I'd definitely recommend it to you. :)

On My Honor

Title: On My Honor

Author: Marion Dane Bauer

Target Age Group: Late Elementary/Middle School

My Rating: 3 out of 5

Summary: Joel and his friend Tony plan to ride their bikes miles away to Starved Rock park, even though they know their parents probably won't give them permission. Joel asks his dad, and his dad surprisingly agrees, even though Joel was secretly hoping his dad would say he couldn't go. Along the way, Tony stops by the river and suggests that they go swimming, which was what Joel wanted all along. Tony wanted to go swimming in the river, though, whereas Joel wanted to go at the community pool. The boys swim in the river, and Joel dares Tony to swim out to the sandbar across the way. Joel is a great swimmer, and has no trouble reaching the sandbar. When he turns around, though, Tony is gone. After searching the river, Joel realizes that Tony must have been pulled under and drowned. Much of the book deals with Joel feeling responsible for Tony's death and the battle he deals with inside himself about what he should tell his parents and Tony's parents. In the end, Joel tells everything he knows.

Review: Bauer is a good author, as far as the writing itself goes. I don't like the story. It's hard to read, even as an adult. However, there are some good aspects to it. First, it deals with the reality of consequences in life when we choose to do things we know we shouldn't. I think that's something every young person should understand, even if they don't actually have to experience it firsthand. I actually read this, because the 4th graders at work read it this year, and I heard good things about it from my coworker. I don't think it's horrible, I just don't know that I would have 9 and 10 year olds read it. It's heavy. It's real, but I know I wouldn't have been ready for this book in 4th grade. That being said, maybe 11 or 12 would be old enough? Maybe this isn't a great review, but it's a super short read, and I don't know what else to say. It is a smallish book anyway, and then there were only 90 pages of text. I read it in about an hour!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Sleep

I haven't been sleeping well lately. Well, that's an understatement. I haven't slept through the night once since Monday. I can read into it all I want. I know what's going on. I still don't like it. I haven't tried taking melatonin or Zzzzquil, because I don't want to. I was hoping this sleep issue would only last a day or 2, but it's been 4 nights now. Maybe I should give it more time.

I am frustrated at this aspect of the whole thing. I'm not saying I didn't expect difficult things to come with this, but sleep is so important to me. I would really appreciate it if my sleep wasn't affected. Of course, it's out of my control. Maybe it's time to try melatonin? I think I'll try it tonight.

I'm done feeling this way. Well, ok. Obviously I'm not ACTUALLY done, but emotionally I feel spent. I want this to be done. It hasn't even been as hard as I thought it would be. I figure that means one of a few options. 1-I got lucky, and it won't be as bad as I thought. 2-The truly difficult parts are still to come (please no!). 3-It has been harder than I've allowed myself to acknowledge (I wouldn't put this one past me). 4-It's not actually going to get harder, but it's going to drag on and on for a while.

I'm sure there are options I missed. The point is, this is not something I understand. It's hard. I hate it. I can't make it go away.

The one piece I really need I fall into place, though, is the sleep. Please?

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Singer/songwriter

HA. That's definitely not a description I've ever used for myself before. To be honest, I still don't think it fits. But...on Monday when I was having a hard time (see 2 blog entries ago...), I pulled out my guitar and started messing around. It was fairly therapeutic. I know music has that quality, but I always seem to forget it.

Well, as I was messing around with my guitar, I started strumming some chords and piecing them together. I found a pattern I liked, and I kept playing. Eventually, I started humming over the top of the guitar, putting a melody with the chords. Then I added more chords (a chorus?) and continued humming. I found a pattern of the two combined that I really liked, and kept going back to.

Two days later, I'm finding myself humming this song that I wrote (however impromptu and spontaneous it may have been) and I can't seem to shake it. I wrote some of it out on staff paper yesterday, because I just couldn't get it out of my head and I had a little bit of time to kill in my music classroom.

Here's where I'm struggling: lyrics. How the heck do people write lyrics?! I have a feeling lyrics often come before the music. I know that's not always the case, though. I just can't seem to figure out what this song should be about. I kind of have the sense that I subconsciously know what it should be, because every time I try to put some lyrics to the melody, I get frustrated. "That's not how it goes," I find myself thinking. Now why would I think that? I didn't think, "I don't like how that sounds," or, "That doesn't work how I want it to." Nope, I think, "That's not how it goes," just about every time. So, clearly my brain is hiding the real song from me. Maybe I'm not ready to hear the words just yet. That sounds really ridiculous, but maybe there's a reason I can't sing the words out loud yet, or even consciously acknowledge what they are. I mean, I truly think there must already be words to my song if I keep thinking to myself, "That's not how it goes."

So, I guess for now I'll just keep humming the song and strumming the chords on my guitar. Maybe one day soon, I'll find myself singing words to the melody of humming, or I'll start playing it on guitar and singing along. When that day comes, I promise I'll record myself (however terrible that might sound) and post it here so you can hear it. I think I owe that to the few who are loyal to my blog. And by few, I truly mean few. Be proud that you're one of them, because if you're reading this, you probably are.

Little things...

Sometimes, little things can make a huge difference. And slightly bigger things make a HUGE difference.

Let's take, for instance, the lack of certain people at work lately. Many of my coworkers are done for the summer, or are off on a trip before returning to finish for the summer. There are only a few of us left. The dynamics in the building are VERY different, and it's weird. It's good in some ways, but in other ways I really don't like it. First of all, it's much quieter. I like that to a certain extent, but sometimes when it's too quiet, it's almost creepy. Next, the interactions are so very different when there are only a few people to interact with. Some people are more positive than others, and some people are more talkative than others. It's just interesting to see how things go.

That's just one example, but even just a small mindset change makes a big difference. One little thing shifts, and all of a sudden everything's different than it was before. Bigger mindset changes can be even more difficult.

I find myself in one of those phases where the mindset is changing. Not all of it is by choice, and that makes the shift even harder. What amazes me, though, is that I am struggling with this mindset shift very differently than I thought I would. It's hard, but hard in ways that I didn't expect. Things that I thought would be affected aren't, and things that I didn't expect to be affected are.

Why is it that things rarely go the way we expect? I don't even care that things don't go the way we hope...I just wish that when things have to shift, we could be better prepared for all that comes with the shift.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Disappointment

Disappointment is difficult. Sometimes, we don't get what we want. It's a part of life, but it's not something we enjoy. (DUH?). Knowing that something can result in disappointment often doesn't deter us, though. We still push forward and try anyway, because we want that thing too much to give up without trying.

Sometimes, I think we'd be better off NOT trying. I don't enjoy the disappointment, especially when things have been building up for so long. It's like, why couldn't I have lived in "what if" land just a little longer? Maybe then I could have avoided this disappointment.

Often, with disappointment comes tears. Yep. They are here. But what's worse than tears is snotty-faced crying. I HATE that. So much. I get tears. I don't like tears, but they're fine with me. I can handle them. I cannot, however, handle crying to the point of messing my face up with gunk.

That's probably way more information that you wanted, but it's the honest truth today. Snotty-faced crying, messed up face with gunk.

Now where did my tissue box go?

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Can of Worms

So, yesterday I opened a can of worms with my students. It's funny, because it was the last day of school. I didn't expect anything like that to happen, which clearly means I didn't think things all the way through.

Yesterday was the school talent show. I put it together, planned it, had the students sign up, etc. I even had them come show me their acts to make sure they were appropriate. Well, there were 22 acts that signed up and got screened. I figured it would be a little over an hour. Then yesterday, I had 2 acts change their minds and decide not to perform. That's fine. It was their choice. We had dancers, singers, a juggler, pianists, actors (do they qualify as actors if it's that skit where one person is the body and the other is the arms?), and two girls even did a pretty cool handshake (it was sort of stomp-like, with rhythm and such). It was a great show. I was so proud of all of my students.

Now, here's where the can of worms comes in. My friend Valerie, who I love dearly and miss a lot, sang a song called "Taylor, the Latte Boy" for her recital in college. It is a great song, for anyone who's never heard it. Check it out here: Kristin Chenoweth singing "Taylor, the Latte Boy"
I enjoyed Valerie's performance so much, that when I worked at Idyllwild Arts Summer Program a few years back, I decided to perform the song for the staff talent show at the beginning of our Family Camp, and then again at "Sharing" in Children's Center. Whatever. It's a cool song. I probably didn't sing it half as well as Valerie or Kristin Chenoweth. Who cares, I had fun with it.

So, when I woke up yesterday, I decided to go ahead and sing it at the end of the talent show yesterday. This is where the can of worms opened. I expected everyone to laugh at it, and they did. What I didn't anticipate were all of the questions afterward. "Miss Wilson, who's Taylor?" "Can we meet Taylor?" "Which Starbucks does he work at?" "Miss Wilson, did you write that song?"

Yep, the students thought there really truly was a Taylor. "There is no Taylor!" I think I said that about 20 times yesterday, and not just to students! Their parents and my coworkers were asking, too! One of the parents even said that there's a guy named Taylor at one of the Starbucks locations here in Oregon City. Great. Now everyone is going to start rumors about me and this Taylor. I told my mom last night when I was telling her about it that I hope he's at least 18, so it's legal. Otherwise, someone might start some NASTY rumors. Ha. Our school secretary is a wonderful lady, and usually we get along great. I still love her after yesterday, but she apparently was telling everyone who asked that it was a true story. Gee, thanks Leslie! :) Haha. She even suggested that at next year's talent show I write a sequel to complete the "Taylor saga". Um...there is no Taylor saga! How can I complete a saga that doesn't exist? Maybe I should call up Kristin Chenoweth and ask her for help? Of course, I'd never get to actually talk with her. She's too busy being famous.

It was very entertaining, to say the least. I'm just hoping all the worms find their way back into the can so I can put the lid back on by September. I don't want anyone to ask me how Taylor is when school starts up again. :)

My favorite response to the song yesterday, though, was from one of the fourth graders. Well, I guess she's a fifth grader now? She came up to me after the talent show and said, "Miss Wilson! I was expecting you to end the song by saying that one day you went in and ordered a frappuccino and broke up with him!" Haha. The mind of a 10 year old. :)

I hope this blog brought a smile to your face, or maybe even a laugh or two? I enjoyed writing it, even if I'm not too fond of people speculating about my love life (or lack of love life?) at work-no matter who it is!

By the way, I am attempting a "heavy" read as my first official book of the summer. It may take me a little longer than Tangerine to complete. Be prepared in the next week or so for a review (I hope!).

Friday, June 14, 2013

The school year is over?

How is that even possible? Well, I don't know whether everyone who needs to know this information knows it (at work), but I'm putting it here anyway.

Next year, I will be teaching music, library, and health. That's a little different than this year. I am excited and nervous and bummed at the same time. It will be very different than this year, because I will most likely be busy constantly as opposed to busy sometimes. Also, library is a totally different animal.

I will be spending most of my summer reorganizing the library, because the last librarian did not have the books organized by the Dewey Decimal system. REALLY?!

Anyway...I am sure I have more to say, but it will probably take some more processing time.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Tangerine

This is (hopefully) the first of many reviews to come your way in the next 3 months. I'll probably figure out a better review style as the summer goes, but for now...

Title: Tangerine

Author: Edward Bloor

Target Age Group: Young Adult (probably 7th-9th grades)

My Rating: 4 out of 5

Summary: Paul Fisher and his family relocate from Texas to Tangerine County, Florida. Paul has always lived in his brother's shadow, as his father and brother attempt to live out the "Erik Fisher Football Dream". Paul starts the 7th grade in Tangerine County, labeled as "handicapped" due to being legally blind,  while Erik, a senior, is the star place kicker on the high school football team. Paul plays soccer, and the first thing he does at his new school is check out the team. Soon, though, through a serious of odd circumstances, Paul ends up at the school on the "wrong side of the tracks", so to speak. He joins their soccer team, makes new friends, and tries to blend his two new worlds together. The two don't mix well, as he quickly finds out. More bizarre and scary things occur. Throughout the book, different events spark Paul's memory of things that had happened to him back in Texas. Paul remembers things that change his whole view, and in the end he finds a new set of priorities and goals.
Review: Bloor is a great author. The book is written as Paul's journal, which I find incredible. A journal is so raw and emotional, and I think it really brings this story to life.

There are some things in the book that I felt were a little mature for the target audience at first. I think, though, that we are often too protective of what we allow children to read. I think it is a good way for children to really understand the dangers and mistakes that are realities in our world and society. I am not a soccer fan, per se. I don't really understand the game. I mean, yes, put the ball in the goal. I know that much. This book was fairly enlightening to me, as it taught me a little more about how the game works, and I even felt very connected with the descriptions of the game throughout. Maybe it was more the character that I connected with, but no matter what it was, I enjoyed even the parts about soccer. I am more than 10 years older than the target reader, but I still felt moved by the book. Some of it, I think, had to do with the friends/group Paul ends up with at his new school. Much like in Esperanza Rising by Pam Muñoz Ryan, Paul's new friends are involved in agriculture and taking care of fruit. Anyway, there's something about that I enjoy, and possibly the cultural factor, too? No matter. I liked the book a lot. Read it!

So, being my first review...what other sorts of things would you want me to include in my next review?

Summer Reading List

So, it's that time of year again. Last summer-well, most summers over the last few years-I was busy working. This summer, I'm taking it "easy". Well, as easy as possible considering how much work I really have ahead of me. *Insert vague reference here about my job next year*. More information soon, I promise.

Anyway, I'm not working a separate job, but I'll be working on things for next year. In my spare time (I'll actually have some!), I am going to be doing a lot of reading. Here's the beginnings of my reading list. I'll admit, there are WAY more books on this list than I probably can realistically read. But, I'm making the list nonetheless. I have so many books that I want to read, and I need to start somewhere.

Summer 2013 Reading List
1. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
2. All Saints by Liam Callanan
3. Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson
4. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
5. Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys
6. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
7. A Son Comes Home by Joseph Bentz
8. When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead
9. Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech
10. Dark Sons by Nikki Grimes
11. The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak
12. Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers
13. The Trumpet at Twisp by Doris Elaine Fell
14. Atonement by Ian McEwan
15. After All by Mary Tyler Moore
16. Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell
17. Cranford/Cousin Phillis by Elizabeth Gaskell
18. Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
19. The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks
20. Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin
21. Teaching with Love and Logic by Jim Fay & David Funk
22. Crazy Love by Francis Chan
23. Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
24. Sex God by Rob Bell

I will probably be adding to this later. Actually, I know I will. I may also be crossing things off the list on my blog as I read them. :)

I'm excited. I love reading, and there are times I just feel I don't have the time or energy to devote to a book. This summer is going to be the summer I just enjoy my books.

What are you planning to read this summer? Anything you think I should add to the list?

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Being Sick

I hate being sick. It's hard to get anything done. Even though I probably would have spent most of my day lounging around and not doing much, it's hard knowing that I can't do anything else.

I made myself some homemade chicken noodle soup. Then all I could do for about 2 hours was lay in bed after eating a bowl of it. Then I had some more soup and had enough energy to finish a small project. I wish I had more energy. I am just so achy and my head hurts. Most of my other symptoms seem to have gone away or at least lessened.

Make it go away?