Bittersweet Change

I have always claimed that I like change. I don't think that I was wrong when I said it, any of the times of I said it, that is. I have altered my opinion, though. I don't ALWAYS like change. I like change in certain settings, certain areas of life, etc. In fact, I think I really, truly, only like change when I'm at least partially in control of it.

Let me explain what led to this new (and improved?) mindset. I had applied for a teaching job at Silverton Christian School a few months back. The position I applied for was the 3rd/4th grade position. I didn't end up getting the job, but the principal left a very nice, encouraging message about how he was impressed with me, and that if they had an opening in the fall he'd call me.

Well, I went on a road trip with my mom and my sister, and one of the MANY places we stopped was the Mall of America near Minneapolis, Minnesota. We were just sitting down to lunch at Kokomo's, when my phone rang. It was a number I didn't know, and my phone listed it as being in Silverton, Oregon. I told my mom what I wanted for lunch and stepped away to answer the call. It was the principal at Silverton Christian School (SCS), offering me the 1st/2nd grade position. Their previous 1st/2nd teacher is taking a year medical leave, and they need someone to fill in for the year (and possibly longer, depending on how things go). Since I had already signed a contract with St. John the Apostle (SJA) and that contract was 5 states away, I told him I would have to check the contract when I got home and call him Monday.

The last few days of our road trip were absolutely stressful and difficult for me. I was enjoying the trip itself, visiting with family, seeing different types of scenery in various states, etc. However, I was also sick to my stomach over the possibility of leaving SJA and going to SCS. I have been teaching at SJA for 2 years, and I will admit it hasn't all been pleasant. There were things I had to do that were the exact opposite of what I wanted to do, and I was never in the job role I wanted. It was difficult in its own way, but I love the people I worked with at SJA and was overwhelmed with sadness every time I thought about leaving. The more I thought about it, though, I realized that this opportunity at SCS was a God-given opportunity. Every little detail that worried me (money, for one...) became almost a non-issue over the course of the next few days. My worries were calmed, my mom offered financial help (should I need it), and I felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. The only thing standing in my way was my own resistance to leaving SJA for what now seem like all the wrong reasons. Yes, the people I worked with at SJA are great people, and I loved the community there. Unfortunately, I was sacrificing too much of my own career to be a part of that community and staff. God showed me, through many wise family members' and friends' words, that He would provide and that I should not skip this wonderful opportunity.

So, I got home Sunday night, and Monday morning first thing, I found my contract for SJA. I read through it, and found no issue getting out of it. I contacted the principal at SJA and talked with her about leaving. She was extremely supportive, though sad to see me go. I completely broke down in tears on the phone with her, but I knew I was following God's leading. After I talked with her, I called the principal at SCS and told him that I would be happy to take the job.

Now I am amidst all of this change. In addition to changing jobs, I am moving. I will be making less money (fairly significantly less), which means I am limited in what I can afford. I am looking to rent a room from someone, but if my sister will commit to it, she and I may find an apartment together. I am terrified of so many things going wrong in all this change, but I am trying to trust God. He knows what's best for me, and His plan will be the one that works out best.

That's the BIG change(s), but I'm also dealing with some smaller changes. I am trying calorie counting again. I mean, that sounds awful. I'm not being too strict with myself on things, but I'm trying to keep track of what I'm eating and how many calories that means. I want to be more aware of what I'm eating and how it can affect my attempts to lose weight. I am also planning to increase the amount of exercise. I am planning on a combination of Wii Fit and walking. I don't run or jog, and I don't really have other options (besides a gym, which I've ALWAYS been resistant to). My plan is to attempt to eat fewer calories than my allotted amount and exercise to make that an even larger gap between what I'm "allowed" and what I'm actually eating.

Anyway, that's the big update. There has been a lot happening, but I'm not going to rehash everything. This is the big stuff for now. I am heading down to California on Friday (I hope), and I'll be visiting friends and family. My grandfather isn't doing very well. My dad also has some Angel tickets he bought for us. I also have a promised beach day from some friends. I haven't been to the beach in at least a year! I'm definitely excited about that.

This is definitely a bittersweet season of life...