Rough Afternoon

Some of you may know that I had an awkward "DTR" back in June. For those unaware, "DTR" stands for "define the relationship". I was interested in a guy who didn't think of me "in that way". He thought of me as a friend. That's great, but not what I thought was going on.

Anyway, over the summer I did my best to move on. We didn't talk for almost 2 months. Like zero contact. We're still "friends"...yep, I put it in quotes. It's nowhere near the same as what it was before. Part of that is because we never see each other since my whole job shift/move. I haven't seen him since June. It's weird.

The reason I brought it up today, though is because I am clearly not "over" him. He came to mind, which is fine to a certain extent. However, it brought on a whole slew of emotions I was not prepared for. I miss him. A lot. He's an awesome guy, and I definitely still want to be his friend. I'm just not sure I know HOW. It's hard. I am having trouble separating our friendship from the emotions/feelings I had/have for him.

I am doing my darnedest to move on completely, so I felt the need/desire to write about it because despite my awareness that I process best when I write/journal, I always drag my feet about journaling. Well, here it is. I'm having a hard time today, and it's because I miss him.

So be it. Hopefully writing this and more time will help heal he hurts.